Desert Time

Hey there!

So…I’ve been MIA. A lot has been going on in my world, causing me to neglect my first passion…which is writing.

There are times when I want to shout from the mountaintops what is going on…and times when I’m huddled in my turtle shell, well…just hiding in my shell.

The past few weeks haven’t been easy. I’ve had to make hard decisions, cutting people out of my life. At my core, I want to save the world, but sometimes you have to let people loose to do whatever it is that they do whilst maintaining your own peace.

I’ve been hyper-focused on the j-o-b, allowing it to consume me in a way I promised myself I wouldn’t. I put my vision and goals on mothballs. Again.

I’ve been working out like a fiend to the detriment of my body. I ignored the signs that my body needs more rest than the program allows.

All of these things combined hit me like a ton of bricks last Friday…and I spent most of Saturday in bed. I forced myself out of the woman cave for a short while…to buy snacks that definitely didn’t aid anything but an emotional eating binge.

Yesterday morning I awoke with clarity…seeing all of it for what it is.

Revealing your true self to the world requires you coming to terms with WHY you have been hiding. It requires you letting go of things that are comfortable. It requires courage and tenacity. Sometimes feeling like shit in a comfortable situation seems better than the unknown of soaring on wings of an Eagle…because I know what shitty feels like but I don’t know what true freedom feels like.

How’s that for honesty?

So…I’m back. I’ve thrown off the shackles and am getting back on track. I’ll be washing the shit off and coming back here regularly to inspire both of us.

In the meantime, drop a comment and let me know how you’ve been!

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Posted in acceptance, adventure, call to action, calling, challenge, change, commitment, dreams, emotions, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, Fear, heart work, Introspection, iwasmade4this, mindset, mission, purpose, raw | Leave a comment

The illusion seems so real

So…I realize that I’ve been radio silent. Again.

It’s amazing how easy it is to let life steal my voice. A few weeks ago I had a major breakthrough only to hit a wall.

So many times I feel like the crazy person in the middle of this illustration…spinning my wheels, exerting a lot of effort, not getting anywhere. Other times I feel like the dude on the upper right, utterly frustrated. The past few weeks I’ve been snoozing on who I am. Why? Because I’m actually the guy on the bottom…on the cusp of everything I desire.

Huh?

I’m learning a new skill. EFT. Emotional Freedom Technique. I’m still such a novice that I’ve only done it once. Months ago. The results were so powerful I got scared an haven’t tried it since.

I know…I sound like a crazy person.

You see…freedom sounds great while you’re in captivity. But…you get comfortable in your discomfort. That’s why long-term prisoners have such a high re-incarceration rate. It’s not because they love the prison life or haven’t made life changes. It’s because prison is all they know…it’s part of their identity.

Where I am emotionally, financially and spiritually is all I know. The thought of the freedom with just a couple more pushes…or taps as the case may be…sounds amazing…but it scares me so much thinking about it makes me nauseous.

This morning, though, as I was meditating, I had a visual come to me. I see a mountain in front of me…which seems and feels daunting. That mountain isn’t made of rock…it’s made of canvas on a flimsy stand. One good push and I’m onto what I deeply desire.

Writing this pokes a hole in the canvas. Tonight…I do the hard work.

Once I get this figured out…that thing I’ve been promising will happen suddenly. Make sure you’re following along for the announcement!

Posted in adventure, call to action, calling, change, commitment, dreams, emotions, empathy, encouragement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, God moment, grace, mindfulness, mindset, ministry, raw, real life | 3 Comments

Thunderbolts and fire

Years ago, there was a woman who spoke something over me. In the ensuing 20 years, I’ve thought of that word sporadically…but it never seemed…possible.

I held lightly onto what she said…but if I told you that it brought me comfort, I’d be lying.

I used a beautiful word spoken over me as a bartering ram, flogging myself whenever I was down because it hadn’t come to pass.

I’d remind myself of every fucking mistake I made.

I’d pour salt in the wounds inflicted upon me by people using me as a punching bag to battle their own demons.

I’d shake my head and judge her…I mean, who says something mike that to someone in a fast food drive thru in Princeton? Weirdo, freak of nature.

Then, Sunday, God brought that word back to my remembrance. Deneen…THAT is your birthright, your calling.

Who, me? You sure, God?

I know it to be the truth…but you see where I am, right?

“he makes his messengers winds, his ministers a flaming fire.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭104:4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

That’s great God. David was awesome. Bless his heart.

“And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord, and I will be the glory in her midst.'” Zechariah‬ ‭2:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I see what You’re doing here, God…but remember the last time I truly believed?

“John answered them all, saying, “I baptize you with water, but he who is mightier than I is coming, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” Luke‬ ‭3:16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

This weekend, I reclaimed my voice, my birthright. That *thing* that you’re meant to do has nothing to do with you. Not a damned thing.

It’s not about your bank account. It’s not about your name.

It’s about people. There are people who are dying because you’re too afraid to do that crazy thing that you’ve been thinking about for a long time.

There are people who need what God placed in you. There are people who need to hear it from YOUR lips, your fingertips, your spirit.

If you don’t know where to begin, you’re going to want to work with me. In a few weeks I’m launching an exciting program that will help get you started.

Subscribe to the blog so you don’t miss out!

Posted in adventure, call to action, calling, change, commitment, connections, dreams, empathy, encouragement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, faith, goals/vision/plans, God moment, inspiration, Introspection, iwasmade4this, mindfulness, mindset, ministry, mission, the call | Leave a comment

Stop being selfish

Sunday I attended an event that was amazing. I admit…I went to support a friend and because I’m a fan girl of the trainer that was the headliner.

I knew I’d be inspired by the trainer. Imagine my surprise when I was inspired for nearly the entire day. Imagine my shock when both the corporate speaker and the trainer spoke on mindset.

I went in very closed-minded, cranky, and just feeling anti-social. Thank God I got the fuck out of my own way and heard what was being said.

When I was listening to the speakers, I knew that I have a message to share. You see…their message and my message are similar. They each speak to their tribes, and I speak to mine.

The absolute most powerful moments of the day were just before the end of the group workout. We were supposed to count the bazillion lunges, push ups and burpees…but not many people were.

Suddenly, time stopped, and Chris Downing threw down. He called all of us selfish, and asked, “If you can’t be the voice of encouragement for people in this room by counting, how can you possibly be there for your tribe?” (I’m totally paraphrasing.)

Honestly, I was just trying not to die. But you know what? I was t going to die. I wasn’t thinking about people struggling more than I was. I was thinking only of myself. I was being a selfish prick.

You have a story to tell. You have a unique perspective that a tribe of people needs to hear, to experience. I have a unique point of view for a unique audience.

We need to stop hoarding our voice, hoarding our story. If you don’t share your voice, your story, you are being a selfish prick like I was.

If you’re ready to start using your voice, or you’re scared and think you have nothing to say, we need to work together. Don’t miss my blog…I’m rolling out something exciting soon!

Subscribe! What are you waiting for?

Posted in acceptance, call to action, calling, challenge, dreams, encouragement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, Fear, mindfulness, mindset, ministry | Leave a comment

Live NOW

It’s so easy to live for the weekend, for a vacation, for a birthday dinner.

The challenge we all face is not letting life pass us by whilst waiting for an event.

Take a minute to breathe. Feel the air pass through your nose, into your lungs. Feel your chest and abdomen expand. As you exhale, feel your chest and abdomen contract. Feel the warm air flow out of your mouth.

Have you ever marveled at the fact that you’ve been doing that since you were born?

Put your hand on the left side of your chest. Can you feel your heartbeat? Appreciate it.

Something I’m learning…and struggling with on a daily basis…is to appreciate the things that occur daily; the people with whom I interact; little tasks that are as annoying as fuck…but necessary like washing dishes and cleaning he bathroom.

I truly believe that once you really appreciate where you are, right now, that God is able to unfold for you the things He planned before the dawn of time.

Why would He entrust you with great things when you don’t marvel at the fact that you breathe? That your heart beats? That the sun rises and sets?

Posted in abide, acceptance, call to action, calling, challenge, dreams, empathy, encouragement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, faith, God moment, Introspection, iwasmade4this, mindfulness, mindset | Leave a comment

The Power of YOU

Yesterday started off so well. My morning was super productive. I felt like a million bucks.

Then…I don’t know what happened.

My energy drained from me, like I unplugged the stopper in a bathtub.

I had been celebrating a victory…a small battle won that felt like a hard fought victory for the good guys.

But I was short-sighted. I lived in the land of when…then.

The truth is that when one fights a battle, it is only to strengthen you for a bigger battle.

I was so happy I got blind-sided.

It’s a good thing I have me. I took myself to the bathroom, and I told myself, “Deneen, no one has the ability to take your power or your energy. You gave it away…now take it back.”

I’m looking YOU in the eye right now. No one has the power to take your energy or your power. If you think you lost it, your deluded. You gave it away. You’re not a victim. Stop telling yourself those shitty lies.

You are a champion. You have all of the power of the universe at your fingertips.

Want to learn more? Subscribe. Big things are happening behind the scenes. You don’t want to miss out, do you?

Posted in call to action, creativity, dreams, empathy, encouragement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, God moment, grace, heart work, inspiration, Integrity, Introspection, iwasmade4this, mindfulness, mindset, mission | Leave a comment

Intuition

When I was a kid, my family and I were on vacation in the Poconos, and for an entire day, I was so sad I cried all day. Nothing could cheer me up.

When we got home, we found out that one of our relatives in Germany, who I had never met, had passed away. (Remember life before cell phones?)

I’m sure you’ve heard all of the stories about people who decided to work from home, or who called out of work on 09-11.

What do all of these things have in common?

Intuition.

Once upon a time, I trusted my intuition.

Then, I started making decisions based on pleasing people.

A boyfriend.

A pastor.

People I thought were my friends.

Out of fear.

Out of self-doubt.

One day I woke up. I had a job and a life I hated. I was hopeless and hapless.

The dreams of my childhood were cast aside like dirty laundry in a teenager’s bedroom.

Something inside of me kept telling me that there was more to life than punching a time clock, hoping that my life world change…but I was so covered in the muck and mire of people’s expectations that I was paralyzed, an automaton mindlessly traversing life.

What did you dream your life would look like? Do you see a glimmer of it? Do you WANT to realize those dreams?

In a could weeks, I’m going to unveil something that will help you do just that.

Overcome fear and self-doubt.

Put that *thing* into action.

Trust your intuition once again. Or start trusting it if you have never tried.

Make sure you subscribe if you can relate to any of what I said…you have something inside of you, waiting to be uncovered and nurtured.

Seriously…why haven’t you hit subscribe yet?

Drop me a comment if you can relate!

Posted in adventure, call to action, calling, commitment, community, connections, dreams, encouragement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, goals/vision/plans, inspiration, iwasmade4this, mindfulness, mindset, mission, passion, soul mate work | 2 Comments

God’s interested in the small things

Sunday, I had an experience that reminded me of who I am.

While I was looking at pictures, remembering a great day, I saw a picture of me wearing earrings that I used to wear on the daily. I had a passing thought of how I missed wearing them which left my head as quickly as it entered.

A short while later, I was getting ready to go to my parents’ house for Easter, and I remembered those earrings, as well as a necklace that I used to wear constantly.

I asked, almost flippantly, “God, I’d really like to find those earrings and necklace.”

My jewelry situation is a mess. I have everything smashed into two boxes, no organization, everything twisted together.

The next thing I knew, I found one earring. Then the other one. For about a year, I thought I had lost one of the earrings. Bam…after a simple request, I had my pair of earrings.

Then I saw a glint of gold. I found the necklace I was thinking about in a twisted mess of necklaces.

Honestly, I didn’t have the patience to untwist the mess of necklaces, so I simply said, “God, help me get this out.” It took less than a minute.

Then this morning, I was reading in Exodus the details of the tabernacle. Have you ever actually READ it? God told Moses exactly how many rings he needed to hang the curtains. He laid out the exact embroidery pattern he wanted on the priests’ garments.

Yet, we question whether or not God is interested in our lives?

How dare we be so obtuse!

The truth is that God is interested in the smallest details of our lives. If his eye is on the sparrow, if he cares about the lilies of the field, why wouldn’t he care about the beings that He created in HIS IMAGE?

For a long time, I’ve been hiding, denying who I really am. The past few days, I feel like the veil has been torn off me, the scales have been ripped from my eyes, and I am remembering how only WHO I FUCKING AM but also WHAT THE FUCK I’M TRULY CAPABLE OF.

God didn’t put me on Earth to be a meek and mild girl, cowering in a corner, censoring my words to make others happy. He put me on earth to lead a revolution of politically incorrect people who will change the world, one person at a time.

There is a tribe of people who have been waiting for me to wake the fuck up from the slumber, to reclaim who I am, and start leading them.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, here I am. I know that you are lurking, watching, quivering, knowing that your turn is next. You are scared. You feel unworthy. You are uncertain that you can actually do it.

Here’s your call to action. Subscribe to this blog. Details are unfolding about how we are going to link arms and uncover our inner badasses together.

Are you ready? Subscribe!!!!!!

 

 

 

Posted in call to action, calling, dreams, empathy, encouragement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, faith, God moment, heart work, iwasmade4this, mindset, ministry, mission, soul mate work, spiritual fruit | Leave a comment

My inner badass escaped!

When I started my job, my intention was to keep up with the flow of blogging that I had going before I started. Well…obviously that didn’t happen.

I’m not going to give you a bullshit excuse about why I didn’t do what I intended.

I dropped the ball.

I got overly focused on the job.

I fell right back into my comfortable patterns.

Well…that sucked. It sucked so badly that I had a nightmare about it.

In it, I was so mean that I was physically ugly. It was awful. I was unnecessarily horrid to everyone. Imagine Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada. Only worse.

When I woke up, I realize how mean I’ve been to my self…to my inner badass who has a purpose. I locked her up in a closet again.

This time, she fought back.

You see…I took this job to pay bills. I took this job because I kick ass at dental shit.

I didn’t take this job to lock my true self up in a closet for the next 5 years though.

That would be a deal breaker.

Friday night I had a hot date with a hot guy who pulled out a pen and paper and made me unlock my inner badass. Over shrimp fajitas and a Hurricane.

I was put on this earth with a message that only I can deliver. I have a tribe of people who need to hear that message urgently, just like I needed to hear the message of a few people I consider my mentors.

The door has been unlocked. The message is being formulated now.

Do you want to be a part of my tribe? Do you have shit locked away that you hear knocking on the doors of your heart?

Drop me a line. Subscribe to my blog. Soon I’ll be unveiling a program that will get you started on the adventure of a lifetime.

Seriously, though…subscribe. You don’t want to miss this entry level offer that will only happen once.

Posted in call to action, calling, community, encouragement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, heart work, iwasmade4this, mindset, mission, soul mate work | 1 Comment

Grooving

Well…last week was a whirlwind, to say the least. If you’d talked to me on Monday, I would’ve told you a completely different version of my life than what actually transpired. I didn’t have time to process what occurred, and that literally blew my Type A Virgo mind to smithereens by Friday.

I slept it off on Saturday…processed, napped, watched basketball and mindless television.

Now…I’m ready to take on the challenge.

First of all…I’m making a loose schedule for myself. Sundays are for planning, meal prep and vision casting for the week. I have a vision for my personal life that is of the utmost importance. I also need to set up a plan of attack for my new professional role.

I need to get back on the workout wagon. I just feel better when I move my body. I need to meditate and pray to organize my mind. I need to read the word of God because that’s literally food for my spirit.

Starting today…it’s a 5 AM wake up.

  • Meditate 10-20 minutes.
  • Ready my daily reading for my Bible plan. Workout.
  • Make bullet proof coffee.
  • Shower. Get ready.
  • Walk or bus to work.
  • Head home around 6. Eat dinner.
  • Prep social media for the following day.
  • Decompress.
  • Pass out by 8-9 PM.
  • Rinse and repeat.

I work best with structure…so that’s the plan.

Thanks for bearing with me through his transition…it is a whirlwind…but I’m really excited to see how God works all of these things together. He has the master plan…my job is to tap into what He’s doing and flow with Him.

Posted in acceptance, adventure, balance, camden, change, commitment, dentistry, direction change, dreams, faith, grace, heart work, Integrity, iwasmade4this, mindset, mission, real life | 4 Comments