When I encounter sadness or fear, I’m usually very mean to them. I see them as the enemy and try to squash them.
Today, I’m trying something different. I’m having coffee with them, telling them how much I appreciate their roles in my life, and discussing with them how we can work together.
*Did Deneen fall and bump her head? Is she under the NFL’s concussion protocol?*
Hear me out before you call 9-1-1.
Fear’s role is to protect us. It protects us from harm…both perceived and real. It is only harmful when you allow it to keep you from doing the work you were placed on earth to do.
If you can change your paradigm from “fear is bad” to “fear is a barometer showing you something you SHOULD be doing”…then it becomes powerful for good.
I’m petrified to sit down and start writing the course, the coaching program and the book that’s on my heart. If I choose to succumb to fear, there are lives that will not be changed. If I use the fear I feel to propel me forward, lives will be changed and there will be an exponential blessing on a multitude of people as a result.
I’ve always tended toward somber and intense. It takes effort for me to be light and airy.
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my Oma’s passing. I had commitments yesterday, so I couldn’t be sad. I told sadness to sit down and shut up. Sadness listened until my eyes started leaking walking down the street on my way home.
This morning when I awoke, sadness was sitting on my chest, swatting my face, requiring my attention. I tried to ignore her…but she needed some time.
So, I whipped up my Bulletproof coffee, and sadness, fear and I spent some time together. I cried for my Oma. I told sadness how much I love her and thanked her for being my companion all of these years. I told her that I needed her to take a backseat, but that I need her to come on the ride with me.
Instead of loathing that part of me, I realize that the darkness, sadness, helps to highlight the brightness. Any beautiful painting has a juxtaposition of dark colors and bright colors, and the same is true of the tapestry that is my life.
I also addressed fear. I thanked fear for trying to keep me safe, but I let fear know he wouldn’t lead me anymore. I explained that I need him to push me forward instead of making me hide in the shadows.
For so long, I’ve seen sadness and fear as weaknesses. They’re not. They are part of what makes me Deneen. Today, I befriended my adversaries and made them partners in this journey I’m taking. I’m the captain of this vessel…and it’s in my power to use the emotions that once crippled me as tools.
How can you change your “weaknesses” into tools to help propel you forward? Let’s take this journey together.
Deneen White 
I totally agree with you about sadness. Even Jesus was sad – He didn’t deny it, nor let it rule Him.
I understand your stance on fear, but I have a slightly different viewpoint. The Bible has the command to “fear not” many times. I don’t think this is a suggestion, but a commandment. Fear is an indicator that my focus and/or trust is in the wrong place. My focus and trust should always be on God.
Lately I’ve been having some medical issues that cause extreme nightmares. There were several nights that I delayed going to sleep as long as possible because I was afraid of what I would see when my eyes closed. I came to realize that my fear was exasperating the problem. The next time I woke up from a nightmare, I picked up the Word and read and studied for a while. I read Psalm 23 through many time, especially 23:4 “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” I read it until I had convinced myself that it was true, then I went back to sleep. I’m still having sleep disturbances and nightmares, but the fear is (mostly) gone.
PS – I love the pics in your posts!
My stance on fear is to not let it rule you aka fear not. I believe that we can use it as a tool to propel us into the promised land. Do you think Joshua and Caleb led the Israelites into the promised land with a total absence of fear? I don’t believe that. I believe that they had fear…but that they had faith that was great than their fear.
I’m sorry about your medical issues. I’ll be praying for you. 🙏