Coming alive

There is a dream that has been inside of you for your whole life. It’s lingering just below your consciousness…every once in a while it bubbles to the surface, but you bury it out of fear.

Then…you pull it up to see it, and laugh at it, writing it off as a childish dream, nothing that can be reality.

You’re not even sure it is REALLY your dream because it’s so blurry.

So you go through your days, half alive, going through the motions on auto-pilot.

Then, one day you make in seemingly rash decision…one that changes the trajectory of your life.

It’s labeled as lunch.

It’s labeled as a meeting.

But it’s so much more.

It’s a collision of what you most love and desire and possibility.

And then an explosion occurs.

Scales are torn viciously off your eyes like a bandaid off a skinned knee.

The rawness of all of the feeling, desires and possibilities and are within grasp are on the surface, no longer hidden by the thin veneer with which you’ve covered them.

All of these things the result of a rash decision.

But that moment was orchestrated.

By the universe.

By God.

Before the formation of the heavens and the Earth.

Suddenly, all those “bad”decisions you’ve made are understandable.

The dots are connected.

The wounds suddenly have a positive meaning.

The tears, held in God’s hands as diamonds have a lot more sparkle.

You seen, by the standards of some in my circle, I’m a slow adopter. I’ve been allowing fear and love of discomfort to keep me in my lane.

The stories of my family play out, BY MY CHOICE, in my life.

After my chance meeting…after seeing the possibilities…after seeing myself in someone who is already amazingly successful, yet completely humble…you see…I was given courage.

Forget that. I wasn’t GIVEN anything.

I made a choice.

I made a decision…that today would be different.

Today, I decide that the stories I’ve been telling myself, while they protected me and got me to this moment, sitting in a coffee shop in small town America, are no longer mine.

The little girl in me who loves playing small, because it makes her feel safe, and it makes people around her accept her, well, today she’s putting on her big girl panties and breaking down walls.

As I write this, I feel resistance pushing against me, which means that I’m on the right track.

Today…be brave. That dream that seems too crazy to pursue…do it. If you can’t do it right now, start visualizing it. Journal about it as if it were finished.

Life is too short to play small. You only live once. This is not a dress rehearsal.

If you’re afraid, imagine me looking at you, telling you that you can do hard things. I’m looking at my reflection in my laptop telling myself the same thing.

You. Can. Do. Hard. Things.

Get out the pen and paper and start.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: