Strength, insecurity, dignity, grace, fear, faith…all the bloody things

There’s something in the air the week. It feels like a week of rapid transformation. Or deterioration. Or both.

If I were to lay it all out, you wouldn’t believe the shit I’ve been facing. And it’s only Thursday.

In general, I feel that I am a pretty selfless person.

But man…this week…it’s been all about me.

Me trying to keep my head above water.

Me striving for things I want…I desire…I need…yet also being caught in a state of stasis.

Me feeling trapped…by choices, by fear, by shit that’s out of my control…instead of me serving those around me.

Me putting a cloak of strength on for all to see…while selfishly mourning what is to come, not even what is present.

Me telling my guy that I’ll be his strength while reveling in my insecurity…that I’m not enough for him, for us.

Why am I sharing all of this?

Well…there is a fine line when doing Mindset work between bringing healing to broken bits of you and being so self-absorbed that you cannot perceive that the world does not in fact revolve on the axis of self and soul.

There are other people in the world.

Shocking. I know.

I know the value of working in my broken parts. The Bible talks the importance of the transformation of the mind.

But the overarching theme of the Bible is that we are here to serve others, to love others selflessly.

If I repair my mind, but forget Love and serving others, were the repairs worth the energy?

From the time I was a child, there were a few things of which I have been sure.

I am here to serve others.

I am here to be an influencer of influencers.

I don’t care if my name is known.

I want to impact people positively whenever I encounter them.

So…back to the drawing board I shall go.

Will I stop working in Mindset? Hell no. It is making me overall a stronger, more self-aware person.

What I will do is stop being so inward focused, though.

I will look for opportunities to serve.

I will make sure to impact the lives of those around me.

I will just breathe.

So…here’s to yet another new beginning.

It’s a good thing God’s mercies are new every morning…because I need a clean slate on the daily.

4 thoughts on “Strength, insecurity, dignity, grace, fear, faith…all the bloody things

      1. Psalm 126:5-6 (NIV) Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.

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