Stalled out

A long time ago, I had a car that I lovingly called the blue bomb. Friends gave her to me. It was a beater Subaru…banged up door, years past its prime. I was thankful for the blue bomb.

junker

There was one catch with it at the beginning. It had a standard transmission. I was an automatic girl. The first time I took her on a longish ride, I went to Cherry Hill to my church’s office. I got out of my neighborhood in Woodbury, onto 295 and all the way to the intersection of Springdale Road and Church Road.

Then…my deepest fear transpired. I couldn’t shift from first into second to get through the intersection. It took me three lights aka 1 million years to make the left I needed to make. When my car stalled, I was less than half a mile from my destination.

Every single time I go through that intersection, to this day, I remember that moment.

Why do I relate this story to you?

We all go through these moments. It may not include cars honking at you as they’re just trying to get home…but it may be with weight loss? Fitness? Bible in a year plan? Prayers life? Meditation practice? Writing? You get the picture.

I’ve started and stopped more fitness programs and diets than you can even name. I get to a certain point, where I truly believe that I’m going to be successful…I’m almost to my goal. Then I stall.

Last week I was on a roll with fitness. My friend Meggan made me a weight lifting program and a five minute HIIT program. I was lifting weights, taking videos to check my form. I was on top of the world.

Then…I stalled. I was sore. I was hungry. I was sitting in the middle of the intersection between progress and quitting and I chose the latter.

intersection

Reality has set in about a few of my dreams/goals that have nothing to do with fitness. I was set on making a decision…then I couldn’t. I read an article that brought up all kinds of emotions that I *thought* I had dealt with…but hadn’t. Grief gripped my heart hard. It snowed and I ate all the food. All the emotions. All the things.

My brain is hard-wired to fixate on the bad things instead of the good things. I mean…I sat court side to see the Harlem Globetrotters with the guy I dig the most in the world. We had an amazing night full of laughter and smiles that will forever be cherished. Why not fixate on the good things? Because my brain is a work in progress.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

Today, take a look at your life. Where are you stalled, or stalling? Take responsibility for stalling. It’s not the weather’s fault. It’s not your husband’s fault. It’s not your boss’s fault. It’s your fault. The sooner you look at yourself, with love, and see what is going on, the sooner you can stop the cars honking behind you and make the turn that you need to make.

personal responsibility

 

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This entry was posted in dreams, emotions, encouragement, goals/vision/plans, God moment, grace, heart work, mindset, raw, real life, relationships, self love. Bookmark the permalink.

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