4 seasons

The trees are budding here in Philadelphia, and we’re expecting our second nor-easter in less than a week. What the heck is going on with the world?

In some ways, I feel like the weather right now is reflective of the journey that I’ve been on for the past few months. Times where I’m really hot–completing tasks, moving forward, knowing that I can do anything that is set in front of me–followed by times where I’m cold–I sit down and write a complete blog only to delete it, questioning everything in my life down to why I exist.

One of my greatest weaknesses is that I try to make decisions for my life based on other people. Growing up, I always wanted to please my parents, my sister. I never wanted to make waves in the family, so I just did whatever was needed to keep the peace. Then, I played that role in jobs. I would work harder than anyone else so that my value was evident. In relationships, I strive to be the person who says good morning, who is encouraging.

people pleasing

The problem with all of that is that you tend to lose yourself in the mix. Recently, I have been heavy on the relationship struggle bus. I made a stand, only to realize that I was all alone. The other person didn’t seem to care, didn’t notice. And it hurt my heart. Deeply.

self sabotage

So, what happened? I let myself go. I punished myself. My self care was nil. Yeah…I went through the motions and encouraged others to take care of themselves while in the background I was eating like crap, not getting enough sleep. I wasn’t meditating. I wasn’t writing (Ahem…it’s been three weeks since I wrote something here and hit publish!) My house was a wreck. I wasn’t moving my body. I punished myself for someone else’s behavior.


So, here I am, once again, restarting the cold engine. I have tasks written on my white board that have to be accomplished daily.

  • Read my bible. I started a 365 read through the Bible plan. I’m on day 9.
  • Meditate
  • Journal
  • Workout–5 min HIIT workout daily, weights three days a week, walking or elliptical 4 days a week for 30-60 minutes.
  • Blog daily, even if it’s just a snippet.
  • Post on instagram 2-3 times a day.
  • Go live on fb or instagram daily
  • Meal prep and eating the food I prep. I’m sticking to whole foods, lowish carbs.

Why am I putting this up here for you to see? Well, one day, someone is going to want to know how I got my shit together…and here’s the plan. I have some pretty lofty goals that I want to accomplish. The only way that I can do that is to not be like Mother Nature over the past few weeks here in Philadelphia.

Can you relate to any of this? If you can, drop me a line…for moral support…to let me know that you’ve read…or so that we can work together on your goals!



2 thoughts on “Rebooting

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