I’m in an ambigous place right now.
I love my life. My job(s) are going really well. I’ve adjusted to the dental industry–specifically in a dental office–fairly well. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel like a real job. I love the consultation part of my life. Planning, executing and seeing the end results are very satisfying to my personality. I’m comfortable in my own skin now that I know what I’m doing and that I’ve been given the feet to do what I’m doing.
I’m making new friends. Last night we had a happy hour for Ruminations…it started off…slowly…but ended up to be a fun event. Then we celebrated a friend’s birthday. I’m discovering a part of me that I didn’t remember existed. I can be quite social. I still prefer to be social in a more intimate setting, but I am getting better at small talk and mingling.
There is one missing piece to this whole thing that is frustrating. I know that it’s not the right time right now. I know that. But this season of singleness is getting old. I love the independence of being single. I’m flying to St. Louis next Friday for the weekend. I didn’t have to coordinate schedules or ask permission. But…I would still like to have a person dedicated to sleeping beside me. I’m not romanticizing anything. I know that there will be dirty underwear to pick up off the floor. I know that there will be dishes and garbage and interpersonal conflict. I’m not under the delusion of the knight in white shining armour any longer. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be held at night.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…