One of my friends is having a tough time right now…bearing a lot of weight on her shoulders that she really doesn’t need to. So, her friend and I decided to treat her to a girls’ night out. We met at Starbucks and had some coffee. Then we went to Target for a little while. Then we headed to a local country bar. Turns out there are a lot of cowboys in South Jersey. Who knew?
My friend is married. Her friend just got engaged. I’m single. Can you say recipe for disaster?
I love married/engaged people. I really do. But here’s a newsflash for you. I’m single. Yes, I would like to be married and have kids one day. But I really don’t want you meddling around with my life. I don’t know how else to put it.
Deneen, what is wrong with you? Are you shy? Are you dating? Are you even talking to anyone? Maybe you need to try online dating. That guy over there looks nice. Why don’t you go talk to him? I’ll talk to him for you. How about that guy from last weekend? He was cute and has a job.
Here’s the deal, well-meaning friends who are in relationships. Yes, I am a bit shy. I’ve tried online dating and got connected with 50 year old religious nuts who have no teeth. I know that it may seem shallow, but I’m not really looking for someone who is edentulous. If I want to strike up a conversation with that guy at the bar, I will. You putting pressure on me doesn’t help. It makes me angry. And, how do you know he’s not a serial killer waiting for a girl at the country bar to talk to him so that he can take her out to the woods and kill me? The guy from last weekend was very nice. He was attractive. Just because someone has a job doesn’t mean that I will like him.
Please, please stop passing off your expectations onto me. Maybe you had a goal of being married and having a few children by the time you reached a certain age. That is great for you.
Being single is NOT A FREAKING DISEASE. If I never get married, I’m sure that I will live a fulfilled life. I have a pretty close knit family. I have friends. I have a job that will keep me quite occupied. I’m going to be starting graduate school within the next year or so, which will keep me busy for at least the next 4 years. I have a church full of people to call when I need to talk. Frankly, I like being alone much of the time, so not having the obligation to see someone a random number of times a week works just fine for me.
I’m not licking my wounds because I’ve not met the man of my dreams. If you have someone with whom you think I would be compatible, I’d love to meet him. You know me, and I’ll trust you. But don’t lose sleep because I’m single. I sleep very well every night.