Treatise

I understand why I’ve attracted the people into my life that I have.

I take responsibility for the energy that I’ve put out into the universe to attract the people I have.

That being said…my energy is shifting.

I’m not tolerating the same bullshit I have in the past…because I’m not the same person I was when we met.

I have bad days, but I refuse to focus on the bad parts.

I have tolerated receiving less than crumbs, but I now realize I deserve a seat at the banquet table.

I have served to be seen in the past. Now my greatest desire is to serve without being seen.

People are my #1 priority. The business that I’m launching will actually help people…not just bamboozle them out of money while I’m laughing at their naivety.

I know I deserve to be healthy, and I won’t give myself permission to expect any less than that for myself.

You see, I’m the head, not the tail.

When I get honored, because I know I will, it will not because I victimized people. It will be because I helped people when they were at their lowest.

I am going to fund the rescue of women and children from slavery.

I am going to fund the prosecution of those who victimized the women and children, including the men who bought them to abuse them.

You see…I wear a mask of weakness…because I have been afraid to walk in my power.

Why? Why am I afraid to walk in that power?

Well…a long time ago I went on a mission trip. On that trip, I walked in my full power. Lives were changed because of the way that God used me. Dare I say destinies were changed when I walked in my power.

When I got home, an evil woman heard stories of what happened…and she did everything in her jealous, manipulative, Jezebel power to destroy my power, to erode my confidence, to isolate me.

And I allowed it.

I allowed it.

I ALLOWED IT.

Here I sit, nearly 20 years later, extending my withered hand to Jesus, asking him to heal me.

I’ve been afraid to be healed.

Why? Because I feel the power vibrating just below the surface.

Picture a fault line, cracking, the red glow of lava just below the surface.

My withered hand being healed is going to mean the fault line explodes open and 20 years of unfulfilled destiny comes bursting forward.

I’m not holding back.

I’m not going to stop it.

My voice will be heard.

Lives will be changed.

My life will change.

This weekend, I told a friend I tried to blend into the crown. She said, Deneen, I can think of many things to say about you. Blending isn’t one of them.

You see…I was never meant to blend.

You were never meant to blend.

Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Lord, here is my withered hand. Please heal it.

Lord, here are my scaled eyes. Remove the scales that I may see.

Lord, here are my deaf ears. Open them so I may here.

Lord, here is my muted voice. Please give me the boldness to speak my truth, Your truth.

Lord, here is my broken life. Make it whole, and let my story empower men and woman all over the world.

Lord, here is my broken heart. Please heal it.

Lord, forgive me for walking around with my withered hand for so long, wearing it as a badge of honor, being too prideful to ask for healing.

Lord, I pray that everyone who reads this receives a powerful revelation over their life. Show them their truth, their power.

Amen.

Wow…that is not what I expected to come of this blog.

Drop me a line if i can pray for you…or just let me know how you’re doing.

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This entry was posted in "the conversation", acceptance, call to action, calling, dreams, empathy, encouragement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurlife, faith, God moment, grace, heart work, hope, Introspection, iwasmade4this, mindset, ministry, mission. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Treatise

  1. mclaborn says:

    “Now my greatest desire is to serve without being seen.”

    That, my friend, is the true sign of maturity. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you!

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