This morning I woke up anxious. Anxious because I’m not in Hammonton, working at my friend’s salon. Anxious because I’m still not feeling 100%, heck even 75% better from this cold. Anxious because I need to find a job. Anxious because I’ve taken the first step toward seminary and now the “reality” of it is setting in.
So, I open up my gmail box, and this is what I find.
So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and our acknowledgement of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word. Hebrews 10:23. (Amplified Bible)
Apparently God was not surprised because I woke up anxious. He has things under control. My problem right now is that I don’t. But, like I said, that is my problem. Not God’s. Mine.
My responsibility? That is another thing. My responsibility is found in Matthew 6:33-34.
But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides. So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble. (Amplified Bible)
So, God has everything under control. My job is to recognize this, walk in this, and live this out. Interesting concept for a control freak. But, I have to also remember what Jesus said in John 15:16:
You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed you [I have planted you], that you might go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit may be lasting [that it may remain, abide], so that whatever you ask the Father in My Name [as presenting all that I AM], He may give it to you. (Amplified Bible)
You see, I didn’t choose this life. Yes, I’m choosing to walk out the dreams that God has for my life. I’m choosing to walk this thing out in faith. But it is Jesus who has called me. And where He gives the vision, He gives the provision.
I do believe that, for the first time in a while, I’m scared senseless. And I couldn’t be more full of joy.
Nevermind my churning stomach. 🙂