In this moment, I’m sitting here in my workout clothes, too late to workout this morning…so I have to workout this evening. I’m mildly annoyed with myself, but if I’m fully honest, I set myself up for this.
You see…I have been going through the motions as of late. I haven’t been fully showing up as myself. I’ve been showing up as a shell of who I am because I feel trapped. I feel trapped by the things that I’ve chosen to do that haven’t aligned with my soul for years…and I feel trapped by not valuing myself enough to walk forward with things that do.
A long time ago, it was drilled into my head that I needed security. I needed a secure job, with secure benefits, a secure 401K. I needed to know that I would be provided for by someone. When it became pretty obvious that I wasn’t on the track for marriage like everyone else in my family, the pressure got more intense to be secure.
Now…I’m not diminishing the value of such things. In the past two weeks I’ve had a physical, a mammogram and blood work, all thanks to my safe job with my safe benefits. I am grateful for these things.
But what you don’t see, in the limelight of social media or blogs, is that I’ve felt like such shit over the past few weeks that I’ve been eating like garbage and drinking more alcohol than I have in months.
Yeah…I just called myself out.
Why have I been doing these things? Well…because I have been operating out of fear instead of faith. I have been allowing people who are supposed to be my supporters be my detractors. I have been waiting for something to happen to me that I’m supposed to make happen for me.
Which leads me to this moment. Instead of working out…which will happen this evening…I am sitting here communicating a message to you…whoever happens upon this blog.
Be fully you. You have a message and a reason that you were placed on earth. If your role is to be a support person in a safe job, then be the best support person that ever worked in that position. One day I’m going to hire a staff of support people to work with me, and I want to attract the best and the brightest.
BUT if you’re meant to be a messenger, someone who does not work within the framework of societal norms, for the love of everything good and pure, START DOING WHAT YOU ARE MEANT TO DO. STOP LIVING LIFE IN THE SAFE LANE. Put yourself out there. Share your message. Stop waiting for life to happen for you and start doing the damn work.
Where should you start? Well…first of all, figure out what you want to do, who you are and how you want to show up in life. Get a journal and visualize the shit out of your life. Dream big.
Do this daily.
Don’t be satisfied with the status quo.
Then…start showing up as that person.
Start making moves. Put yourself out there. Find someone who is doing what you are doing, and hang out with them. If you can’t physically hang out with them, follow their content on social media. Sign up for their courses. Invest in yourself. Start a blog. Show up on social media being the person you are…not the person people think you are.
This week, I’m going to walk us through more of this process. I know we’re halfway through the first month of the year…but that doesn’t mean that the year is wasted. It just means that we were tiptoeing into the year rather than diving head first.
Are you willing to come along with me on this journey?