When something comes up over and over, you have a choice. You can ignore it or you can investigate it. In light of becoming more self-aware, mindful and such things, I decided to embrace it.
Right after I graduated from Temple in 2005, I went through a very dark period. I broke up with my church. I moved to New England and was in a job with a boss that was worse than Miranda in The Devil Wears Prada.
The best part about that job was that I worked on block from the Boston Common. When I had a bad day, and I had lots of them, on my lunch break I would grab a coffee from the Starbucks at the corner and walk through the Common.
At that time, I was shattered and disillusioned. I had what I call a nervous breakdown after I left the church and graduated. I didn’t know which way was up, and I didn’t know how to put the pieces of my life back together again.
There was a song that was popular back then by Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten.
I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplannedStaring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not findReaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwrittenOh, oh, ohI break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can’t live that way