Thanksgiving wildcards

It’s ironic to me that this week is Thanksgiving.  So much to be thankful for…so many wildcards in the deck.  I’m looking forward to the short work week followed by a whole 7 days out of the office.  I may have the shakes by next Wednesday, though…lol

I’m thankful that I’m going to be with my family this Thanksgiving.  I’m going to be doing the bulk of the cooking.  I love to cook…and I love to feed people.  I can’t wait to spend time with my family this year…with my mom’s cancer, I realize how fleeting my time is with them.

I’m looking forward to a very Woodbury weekend.  I’m going to a gathering on Wednesday, and definitely heading to the championship game on Saturday.

The wildcards come at the beginning of the week.  Monday mom has a test to see if her heart can handle chemo.  If it can, most likely, chemo starts Tuesday.  She’s starting to be apprehensive about the treatment–she knows that this is the correct decision for her, but she’s worried about pain and the effects that the chemo is going to have on her.  My father is worried about my mom.

I’ve been on autopilot about the whole thing lately.  Trying to make light of the situation, to laugh and have fun.  I’ve been trying to cheer mom up and get her out of the house.  I’ve not allowed myself to feel what was going on…I’ve numbed myself.  But–on Saturday on my way to work…the emotion hit me like a flood.  I bawled my eyes out and I was as honest with God as I’ve been.  It was very cathartic…and cleansing…and made me realize that I can’t do this alone.

I’m going to need friends…especially friends who’ve gone through this whole cancer thing.  I always thought I understood what others were going through…but this is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.  And completely different than I perceived.  Oy vey.

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