If there’s anything I can do…

If I had a dollar for every time I said to someone, “If there’s something I can do, please let me know.” I’d be a very rich person.  When I saw that, I mean it from the center of my being.  What I never really comprehended, until now, is that there are times that there really isn’t anything anyone can do.

My mother found a lump.  Her doctor found another.  I didn’t tell too many people because we really don’t know what is going on.  She was somewhat proactive.  She went to her doctor, did the initial tests.  No cancer was found in her blood, so we started breathing again.

Friday she went to a surgeon at Fox Chase–a medical center known for cancer research–and the doctor gave her a theory we were unprepared for.  He thinks that the one lump is attached to something…which may mean that she may have a traveling cancer.  She is having a bone scan this week and a biopsy next week.

I told my closest friends today.  I know that my friends are going to pray for my mother and for me and my family.  I know that they’ll be strong for me when I am weak.  God has blessed me with some amazing friends.

One of my friends asked if there is anything that she can do.  I told her, “find a cure.”  There are just some situations that noone can help.  I know that God has my mother in the palm of His hands.  I know that He’s not surprised.  I know and I believe all of this.  I have prayed and will continue to pray for my mother.

But–unless one of my friends has the cure for cancer at their disposal, right now, I don’t know what to ask for.  Maybe I should’ve allowed myself to learn to receive a few years ago when I needed to.  Perhaps then I would be tell people what I need.

I need my mom to live to be at my wedding.  I need my mom to live to see my children.  I need my mom to fight for her life.  I need my mom to be healthy.  But–I have no guarantee than any of those things will be…

So, instead of longing for what may or may not be, I am focusing on enjoying every moment that I have…because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

What you can do for me is pray for my family.  We need the prayer covering…healing, peace, God’s will.  I’ll keep you in the loop.

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