There is a voice that is within every woman that asks, “Am I lovely?” After 33 years of research, I believe that question arises almost as soon as a female baby enters the world. Every woman I know seeks an answer to that question, whether it is conscious or subconscious.
When I was a kid, I always sought the approval of the men in my life–my father, my grandfathers and my great grandfather. I collected baseball cards and coins. I chopped wood and went fishing. I played tennis and watched football. I did what I thought I needed to do to get their attention.
I started emotionally eating at a young age…about the same age that I discovered that I could escape in a good book. Because I wasn’t getting a yes on the, “Am I lovely” question, I filled the hole that was left with all kinds of food–salty, sweet, savory.
As a teenager and an adult, I found the answer even more fleeting. In high school, boys would ask me to help them with homework, to study for tough subjects rather than asking me out. I learned that doing tasks made me desirable. As an adult, I’ve learned that helping people makes me indispensible.
The irony of the deep rooted question is that the answer is not found in other people. It can only be found within. I could be the most breathtakingly beautiful woman in the world, but if I don’t know my intrinsic value and my deep beauty, noone will be able to convince me of my loveliness. More importantly, there is One who is enthralled by my beauty. Check out Psalm 45 (from biblegateway.com):
1 My heart is stirred by a noble theme
as I recite my verses for the king;
my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer.
2 You are the most excellent of men
and your lips have been anointed with grace,
since God has blessed you forever.
3 Gird your sword upon your side, O mighty one;
clothe yourself with splendor and majesty.
4 In your majesty ride forth victoriously
in behalf of truth, humility and righteousness;
let your right hand display awesome deeds.
5 Let your sharp arrows pierce the hearts of the king’s enemies;
let the nations fall beneath your feet.
6 Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever;
a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom.
7 You love righteousness and hate wickedness;
therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions
by anointing you with the oil of joy.
8 All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia;
from palaces adorned with ivory
the music of the strings makes you glad.
9 Daughters of kings are among your honored women;
at your right hand is the royal bride in gold of Ophir.
10 Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear:
Forget your people and your father’s house.
11 The king is enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord.
12 The Daughter of Tyre will come with a gift,
men of wealth will seek your favor.
13 All glorious is the princess within her chamber ;
her gown is interwoven with gold.
14 In embroidered garments she is led to the king;
her virgin companions follow her
and are brought to you.
15 They are led in with joy and gladness;
they enter the palace of the king.
16 Your sons will take the place of your fathers;
you will make them princes throughout the land.
17 I will perpetuate your memory through all generations;
therefore the nations will praise you for ever and ever.