Today I went to church. For the first time since I returned from a dental meeting in Boston. It’s been a while. A friend invited me. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have gone. Just being honest.
This is how it went down. She saw that I had changed my “status” on myspace. She commented me that this guy, Mike Murphy, was speaking. She mentioned it had be a little while since she had seen me. I agreed to go.
This is a guy who has opened up scripture for mein ways that noone else has. And he has ticked me offlike noone else has. But I knew that I was supposed to go. Probably because of the butterflies that I get in my stomach when I am good-nervous.
I’m not going to get al super-Christian and say that my life was radically transformed by today. What I will say is that I needed to be there. I learned today that I am a piece in some puzzle. Some weird, unfinished puzzle that confounds me.
Whatn perplexes me more is that I am not part of one puzzle. I am a part of many interlinking, interlocking puzzles. I am a bridge for some, a pillar for other.
The lesson that I am learning is that I don’t know the role that has been scripted for me in the play that is my life, our lives. All I know is that I have a part, and I need to be the part. I cannot deny who I am, but I also cannot overplay my part.
One of my weaknesses is that I don’t want to play multiple parts. I want one identifiable role. I want to know where I stand. I don’t do well in the grey areas of life. But life is lived in the grey. Nothing is black and white. If it is, there is something wrong. If I cannot function in the grey, I am in trouble.
The fact is that I do not have one role. I have many roles. And through all of my roles, I have to be myself. All things to all people. Or something lke that.
Deneen White 