The best part about having an autoimmune disease is that it builds a level oh humility in you that is unparalleled.
I mean…one day you feel like a million bucks. You have a decent amount of energy; you sleep like it’s your job; your whole body is working in synergy.
The next morning you wake up at 2:30 am and you can’t fall back asleep. Then you get a giant cystic pimple on your face. You have the energy of a 97 year old woman on life support. Don’t get my started on the rebellion of your whole GI tract.
A few years ago, this would have put me into a tailspin of depression. The perfectionist in me would have had her panties in a bunch, mad at herself for being weak, inconsistent.
The new, enlightened me just laughs through the exhaustion and the roll of Scott tissue that is being used at an alarmingly fast rate.
There are things I can do to change my circumstances. And I do them daily. Meditate. Journal. Eat well. Try not to allow stress to consume me.
But…my body is a prick. My body is a prick because when I was younger and healthy I didn’t take care of it. I didn’t appreciate it.
My body is the way it is because there are so many parts of the core of my being that I suppress that I feel like my truest self is on mothballs.
It’s funny. I signed up for a course to learn how to break the internet…how to find my true self, figure out what I have to offer, and to offer it to the world.
I’m doing so, I’ve unlocked closets in myself that I forgot were there.
Do you remember the scene in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe when Lucy discovers Narnia? I feel like I’ve found Narnia.
Aslan is on the move. Shit’s getting really real. Things I’ve desired for a long time are starting to come together. Finally. Suddenly. Spring is coming.
Until next time…be well. Drop me a comment and let me know what’s going on with YOU.
Deneen White 