When you love someone, love them where they are, at this very moment in time.
Love should be unconditional, affection with no limits or conditions.
Loving people teaches a lot about oneself. The people who are attracted to us in different stages of our lives are mirrors of where we are/were at that point in time. I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe in divine appointment.
Every single person on earth…from the most pious to the most heinous…is imprinted with the fingerprint of God, imago dei. We all literally have God’s UPC symbol printed on our spirit.
Some of us really show it, while others of us need it dusted off. And, if we’re honest, the dust can settle pretty quickly so don’t get to comfortable being shiny 😉
How do we love people unconditionally?
I’ve gone through a lot. My mom had two forms of cancer at the same time. My grandmother got diagnosed with terminal lung cancer shortly thereafter. I’ve lost family members over the stupidest crap. I lost my last grandmother nearly a year ago. Walking through all of that shit has taught me the most valuable lesson a person can learn: empathy.
When my mom was sick, people fed me the lines required. She’ll be ok. God’s got her. Not one person asked me how I was. Not one person held my hand while I was falling apart, while the woman I loved most in the world turned yellow and lost all of her hair, and at times, her will to live. And you know what? I’m grateful no one asked about me. Huh?
You see, that taught me how to love people during the darkest hours of their lives…as their loved ones are dying, as their marriages are falling apart, as their kids are completely off the rails.
You see, I learned what people need during the darkest hours of their lives. They need a life preserver. They need a genuine, kind word. They need a hug. They need someone to sit with them, let them cry, and just say, “Wow, that sucks.”
Do you want to know the most powerful verse in the Bible to someone who is going through hell? John 11:35. “Jesus wept.”
All of the yuck that I’ve gone through has taught me how to love in a different way than I’ve ever known. The more deeply I love and accept myself, the more deeply I can love and accept others.
We are all works in progress until the day that we die. You may have successfully conquered one area of your life, but there are thorns in your side. Don’t judge other people by the progress you’ve made. Help them through it…just as there are people helping you through your struggles.
Love conquers all. I really believe that.
Deneen White 
John 11:35 is one of my favorites also. I came to a revelation about that verse right about the time my dad died of lung cancer. A revelation so moving and powerful that I spoke about it at his graveside service: Jesus didn’t cry because Lazarus was dead. He already knew what He was going to do. In fact, He delayed His trip to Bethany so that He could raise Lazarus from the dead. Jesus wept because His friends were hurting. His friends’ pain became His own.
Jesus was empathy personified.