New-found Joy

joy

When I was a kid, my father always told me, “Girl, whatever makes you happy, makes me happy.” I never understood that fully…I thought it was a dad thing to say, nice and all…but I never truly got it. I spent a lot of my life so deeply unhappy with me, that I couldn’t truly be happy for others.

Don’t get me wrong. I could’ve won an Oscar for feigning happiness. I knew what to say, how to say it. I was able to encourage people even though I was in an immense amount of pain.

Oscar-statue

Then something happened. I hit the rock bottom of unhappiness and started making changes in my life. I no longer need/want anyone to validate me. I monitor my thought life…it’s amazing how mean I can be to myself if left unchecked. On a daily basis, I face some pretty dark demons I have allowed to live inside of me. I took responsibility for my inner pain and started working through it. This is a lifelong process, but progress has been made.

peaceful lake

Through this process, God’s peace has washed over me. I know that God is in control…not me. I am no longer think that I hold the strings of my life. Philippians 4:7 says, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

What happens when you are truly at peace with where you are in life is that you can truly be happy for one another. When you are at peace, empathy is naturally overflows. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” 

Today I got a text message from one of my best friends. It was an update on her pregnancy…and I started crying. She is so happy and excited…and I am so happy and excited that my heart is overflowing with joy.

happy

So, today I celebrate all of the hardships I have experienced in my life. I am thankful for all of the good decisions that I made and all of the bad decisions I have made. You see…all of those things have brought me right here, anxiously anticipating the arrival of my niece, crying with joy.

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