Last year, about this time, I spent an entire day and a half in bed, crying and feeling completely miserable.I was having a horrible time sleeping though I was exhausted all of the time. I went to the doctor, had a battery of blood tests, and found out that I had hypothyroidism. I was also diagnosed as being depressed. I walked out with prescriptions for Celexa (anti-depressant,) Synthroid (hypothyroid medicine,) Ambien and Xanax. I thought that my life was going to be all better.
Funny thing. I was taking all of the medicines and still felt anxiety, exhausted and was having a horrible time sleeping. I started eating better and exercising, knowing that I needed to add those things to my regimen, but it didn’t help.
I went back to the doctor, found out that I was severely Vitamin D deficient and my thyroid still wasn’t working. I got a high dose of Vitamin D to take for two months and my thyroid med was increased. Two months later, no change.
I marched myself back to the doctor, told her my issues, donated more blood to the lab, and found out that my thyroid medicine had to be increased. AGAIN. At this point, I was getting pissed. And concerned. More pissed than concerned. I felt like a guinea pig more than a human being. My doctor listened to what I was saying, but I still felt like crap.
I started reading books on hypothyroidism. I started following Hypothyroid Mom on facebook. I stalked thyroid.about.com. I learned about natural thyroid replacement. I started to think that perhaps it was more than hypothyroidism. I started to suspect Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis.
Last week I went to my doctor, and I was a different patient. I wasn’t a passive participant in my health. I was informed. And a funny thing happened. My nurse practitioner was impressed. She thanked me. She complimented me. I got the usual battery of tests–T3, Vitamin D. I also got tested for Hashimoto’s disease. My doctor agreed immediately to transition me from Synthroid to Nature-throid when she got my test results back.
I got my results back this past week. I have Hashimoto’s disease. It is an autoimmune disease wherein my immune system is attacking my thyroid. Not only am I harder on myself than others are, my immune system is killing one of the most important glands in my body. I got the answer I was looking for, but it shook me to my core. I cried myself to sleep with both relief and fear.
Now, I’m staring a new journey. One of the hallmarks of Hashimotos disease is gluten sensitivity, so I’m on a gluten free diet. Gluten is one of my food groups. I love, LOVE beer, bread and pasta. Have you tried gluten free beer? I’d rather drink gasoline and be set on fire! I’m starting a new medicine on Tuesday because (SHOCKING, I know) pharmacies don’t regularly stock Nature-throid because it is not made by a big pharmaceutical company.
The most difficult part of this journey is having confirmation that I truly cannot maintain the pace that I want to and that is expected of me. I can’t work 50 hours a week without being down for a few days. I can’t always have a social life, because there are times that I literally do not have the energy/stamina that it takes. I have to learn a word that is unfamiliar to me–NO.
I am not hopeless, though at the moment I am completely overwhelmed. I know that this is not God’s first choice for me, but I also know that He WILL use it for HIS good. My body may be broken but I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made.
Statistically speaking, I know that there are at least a few of you who are reading this who are in the same boat as I am. Welcome to my new journey. I hope that you’ll continue along with me. I am going to use this blog to document my navigation through Hashimoto’s disease and hypothyroidism. I was made for this…I just didn’t see this coming.