For the past few years, I’ve been in self-destruct mode. I eat as much as I want whenever I want. I drink as much as I want whenever I want. Just make decision after decision that feels good at the moment but in the long run that is putting my physical, emotional and spiritual health at risk.
If you were to ask me, though, I would never admit to being in self destruct mode. I’m always trying to eat healthier. I don’t drink that much. I wasn’t honest with myself, and I’ve not been honest with others.
A few weeks ago, I signed up for the Broad Street Run in Philadelphia. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is a 10 mile RUN. I don’t run. I don’t like to run. What possessed me to sign up? I’m still trying to figure that out. So here I am, 8 weeks away from the longest run of my life, and instead of running tonight, I ate pizza and watched a few shows. At least this week I didn’t eat while watching The Biggest Loser. I just drank my water. Because I couldn’t possibly eat anymore after the pizza. And the bottle of cancer–I mean diet Coke that I consumed.
So, I’m coming clean with myself and with you. I have been in self-destruct mode, but tonight I am taking the first step toward recovery. I admit that I have a problem.
Here is what I am doing to solve my problem. First of all, I have put notes around my apartment reminding me of my goals. I have scriptures around telling me who God says I am. (What is more important than what He thinks, honestly?) I am committing to logging all of my food–even morsel that enters my mouth. I am committing to moving every day. Three days a week I have to log mileage, not just 30 minutes.
I am asking for your help. Please ask me how I’m doing. Encourage me.
My goals certainly don’t end on May 6 when I participate in a race. I have a goal weight I want to achieve. I want to learn to like running and competing so that I will sign up for more races.
This is just the physical part of me that needs cleaning up. Tomorrow I’ll tackle the spiritual.