Strength

I guess God thinks I’m strong. Because He keeps piling stuff on.

Good news first. Mom only has three more radiation treatments. She is getting her energy back, and more importantly, she’s got her spunk back. I spent last night at the parents’ house, and it was so night just to sit around and talk to her. No kids, no interruptions…just us. I didn’t realize how much I missed those nights until we had one last night.

We had a pseudo block party–at midnight–at my neighbors house. We’ve had a core group of neighbors for the past 30+ years. Honestly, I don’t think of my neighbors as just neighbors…I consider them my family. When one celebrates, we all celebrate. When one mourns, we all mourn.

I found out that my second father only has a few days left. He’s been battling lung cancer for a while now. My sister and I went up to the hospital to see him today. I HATE cancer. I HATE CANCER. I am so pissed at cancer that I cannot see straight. Mr. Bill was one of the kindest, sweetest, funniest, most positive men that I’ve ever known. No matter how good or bad things were going for him, he always had time for a kind word and a smile. Every time I saw him, I’d ask him how he was doing. He’d give me one of two answers. “Hon, if I were any better, I’d be twins.” or “Hon, if I were any better, I’d be dead.” I can’t imagine our neighborhood without Mr. Bill. I can’t imagine Mrs. Bill without Mr. Bill.

Apparently, I’m a strong person. God knows how much I can handle, but I really think He’s overestimating what I can handle. Because I’m about to break.

Lord, I pray for the Terres family. I ask You to give them peace, comfort, joy and laughter in their last moments with Mr. Bill. I pray, God, that You would take him peacefully and now allow him to suffer. I pray that You would welcome him home, Father. I ask You Father to give me the strength to handle the things that You have put on my plate. Please give me wisdom, and do not allow me to look to others to fill what is only Yours to fill. I love you, Father,and I trust You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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