It’s been a long time since I’ve dreamed. I have had dreams, but not God-sized dreams. You know…the things that you want to do but know that there is no possible way that you can do of your own power…the things that make you sick to your stomach because they freak you out so much.
There’s this thing that I’ve wanted to do for about as long as I can remember. At one point, I was doing what I thought was working toward it, but that ended. It wasn’t the right time and it was the road that I wanted to take but not the road I was supposed to take.
I’ve shifted my focus to other things. Work. Play. Doing what people think I would be great at, but not doing anything that I am really passionate about. I talk a good game, and I play the role really well, but, when the sun goes down and I’m alone, this thing is what haunts me, not what I am doing right now.
There’s this place that has been on my heart for a little over a year now. I thought that I wanted to go there because of someone, but it’s becoming a more obvious to me that it’s not about a person but about a call. The funny thing is that I’ve never, until recently, had a desire to go to this place. I am a Northeast gal through and through. I love our sports teams, our food, our rude, callous people. I love the weather, the seasonal allergies. It’s all I’ve known.
If you are reading this, please pray for me. There is a lot that I need to do God to do for any of this to happen. A WHOLE LOT. But…I know that God is bigger than the obstacles I see and the insecurities that I possess. His plan for me is so much more than I give Him credit for…
Now, I have to go be sick…because I’m excited and scared to death.
Deneen White 