So, there’s been a theme in my life. My whole life. Instead of assessing the circumstances in which I find myself, taking a step back and considering the consequences, I react. Usually verbally. I have an issue with my mouth.
I’ve found myself in that situation recently regarding a situation really close to my heart. I was hurt. Very hurt. And in my hurt, I said some things that were unkind, to say the least, cruel if I am honest with myself. I felt justified in my bad behavior though. I was wronged, after all.
I also have this other problem…and this one I have no idea how to correct. People don’t like to disappoint me. I think I’m being supportive. I think I’m doing what is best for the person, cheering them on. What is really happening is that I am putting pressure on people to live up to my belief in them. Sometimes, when this doesn’t happen, people draw back out of fear of disappointing me.
Over the past few days, I’ve been assessing the situation that I was in. Hindsight is 20/20, right? Yes, there were warning signs. Don’t get me wrong. However, what I’ve realized over the past day or two is that, while I am not completely at fault, I definitely added negatively to my–to our situation. My words recently have been destructive. And my high expectations were too much to be handled.
Hopefully this is a lesson learned. Hopefully we’ll be able to regroup and be friends again. I certainly miss my best friend…maybe we should have kept it at that.
Good luck my friend. You’ll always have all of my support. Know I’ll be happy for you no matter what. No expectations.
Deneen White 