The other day my sister and I were chatting on facebook, and she said something that cut me pretty deeply. She told me that she misses happy Deneen. I was taken aback. It really got me thinking.
I’ve never been the person who walks around smiling from ear to ear. I am generally cynical–or at the very least guarded. And, if I’m honest with myself, the past few months have been t-o-u-g-h.
Mom’s cancer has been tough to deal with. I haven’t been spending a lot of time at my parents’ house because it’s just too much sometimes.
One of my uncles just passed away from cancer. He was pretty bad–but we didn’t learn about it until this week.
Another one of my uncles has stage 4 cancer throughout his body.
Work has been extraordinarily difficult. Nothing ostensibly has changed…just something in me. Can’t put it into words, but it’s tough.
So, when my sister said that she misses happy Deneen, I wonder if she wasn’t believing a myth. Don’t get me wrong. There are areas of my life that have been going really well…but even those areas have hit a speed bump or ten recently.
I don’t know where “happy Deneen” went. Hopefully I meet her one day soon. If life ever slows down again.
Please forgive me if I’m not skipping down the street with a huge smile plastered on my face. Instead of judging me, I hope that you take a moment to pray for me. Because, right now, life is tough. Happy Deneen is MIA.