The other day, I pulled into my normal parking spot at work.  I park near a field, and in the field, there was a family of deer on the woods line.  There is something about deer that is just calming.  Seeing the deer brought Psalm 42:1 to my mind:  As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You, oh God.

I am a very conflicted person some days.  Ok–most days 🙂  I take things personally that I shouldn’t.  I get upset with people…sometimes I can’t even tell you why.

The root of all of this is where I find my identity.  There are Marthas and there are Marys. (See Luke 10:38-42 as a reference)   There are those that find their identity in the doing of things–work, friends, home.  There are others that find their identity in who they are…who God said that they are.

I am a Martha.  I work, work, work and get myself all worked up about work.  I obsess about things that are not worth energy or time.  I put expectations on people that they can never meet–because they are unvoiced or they are impossible.  I have higher expectations of myself if that is possible.

I want to be a Mary.  I want to rest in who God says that I am.  I want to really find my identity in Christ.  It’s much more than a want.  It’s a need.  I need to get this area of my life under control.

I also need to learn to count to 10 before I speak.  Maybe 20 or 30.  Or perhaps I should learn that silence is golden.