You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit–fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. John 15:16
I’ve been struggling with my faith lately. I know that God is real, alive and active in my life and in your life. I haven’t been living that way, though.
You see, I’ve been living like a person bogged down with problems. How am I going to pay the rent? My car payment? Buy food? What is my mother is really sick…how will I manage?
I’ve been living my life as if what I am doing right now–professionally, relationally–is the best that God has for me, as if this is the ultimate plan that God has for my life.
I’ve been living my life depending on myself, on my friends, but not depending on God. That is wrong.
God chose me before I was born to live in this moment in time. God chose the era into which I would fit. More than that, it is in this era that God has chosen for me to make a difference.
Instead of living with the realization of that truth, I’ve been living my life as if making enough hygiene appointments, making the correct dinner, ordering the right drink is changing someone’s life.
I have to do the best job that I can, to be the best person that I can be, be the best employee, friend, co-worker I can be. BUT–I also know that this is not the final stop in my life. It’s not.
Over the years, God has made me promises. Promises I don’t think highly enough of myself to have dreamed for myself. These moments are preparing me for the promises that lay on the horizon. That horizon may be 15 years down the road for all I know.
There is some work that I need to do. I thank God that He has placed friends in my life who, even when I don’t want to hear it, tell me gently–or not so gently–that I need to do some hard work internally.
Deneen White 
after my radio program on alternative medicine & natural healing a 30 munites phonepatch i asked God why he chose me to be in this world. Though am happy with my life today but i wonder why if what i am doing is what God wants me to do. Since childhood until today my life was helping my family. When i graduate from college i landed a job my purpose of my existence is to send my younger siblings to school & regain what our livelihood which has been lost due to marital problems of my parents. I became a successful career public social worker but i my marital problem became worst as he doesnt understand with whta i am doing for the welfare of other people. I became a cancer patien and i lost my husband because he was the one making me problems as a jobless & bossy person in my life. I was a result of prayer of so many people who loves me most who knows me better. i thought i will die. But God give me a man anatural doctor who give me the faith that i will be healed. Without chemo & surgery my cancer gone thru his natural healing. Now i am not only a social worker in my hometown but i am now involve in natural healing mission in different place in whole region. and until today i have a lot of niece & nephews which i am sending them to school. why God involve me in this work. Is this really what he want me to do ? why He didnt give me a child. Can He still give me after my ovarian cancer? what comes next in my life? i dont know?