You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit–fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. John 15:16

I’ve been struggling with my faith lately.  I know that God is real, alive and active in my life and in your life.  I haven’t been living that way, though.

You see, I’ve been living like a person bogged down with problems.  How am I going to pay the rent? My car payment? Buy food?  What is my mother is really sick…how will I manage?

I’ve been living my life as if what I am doing right now–professionally, relationally–is the best that God has for me, as if this is the ultimate plan that God has for my life.

I’ve been living my life depending on myself, on my friends, but not depending on God.  That is wrong.

God chose me before I was born to live in this moment in time.  God chose the era into which I would fit.  More than that, it is in this era that God has chosen for me to make a difference.

Instead of living with the realization of that truth, I’ve been living my life as if making enough hygiene appointments, making the correct dinner, ordering the right drink is changing someone’s life.

I have to do the best job that I can, to be the best person that I can be, be the best employee, friend, co-worker I can be.  BUT–I also know that this is not the final stop in my life.  It’s not.

Over the years, God has made me promises.  Promises I don’t think highly enough of myself to have dreamed for myself.  These moments are preparing me for the promises that lay on the horizon.  That horizon may be 15 years down the road for all I know.

There is some work that I need to do.  I thank God that He has placed friends in my life who, even when I don’t want to hear it, tell me gently–or not so gently–that I need to do some hard work internally.