I remember when I went on my first mission trip out of the country. My pastor told us that there are three things that he cannot change about himself: that he’s a man, he’s an American and that he is white. You cannot be apologetic about things that you cannot change. And those very things may be held against you, though you can’t change them.
Every once in a while, as I am trying to hard to change things that are not changeable in my life, I remember Pastor Kyle saying that.
I’ve spent the better part of 33 years wishing that I were something different…I want to be creative in a different way. I want to e taller. I want to be smarter. I want to be this. I want to be that. I’ve spent very little time actually appreciating who God has created me to be.
In a month, I am going to turn 34 years old. (I love birthdays, in case you didn’t know. I love, love, love getting older. But that is a topic for another post.) Anyway…I’m too old for all of the discontent in my life. There are a few things that I am going to choose to accept about myself.
I do NOT like going to the gym. I also know that I HAVE to start going. Not because someone told me to. Not because I want to be a supermodel. I have to start going because I want to be a physically healthy person. That means increasing my level of fitness. I also have a goal of running a 5K in the spring. To achieve that goal, I kind of have to hit the gym.
I am a passionate person. There are some topics that, when I start talking about them or writing about them, that just get me going. Politics. Religion. I know…things a fine lady are not supposed to talk about.
I am a leader. I cannot change that. I’ve been bossy since I was a kid. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone who’s known me for a few years. I make decisions that other people do not want to make…and somehow, I have a way of getting people to buy into the decisions I’ve made.
I am a woman. I am a woman who loves football, baseball, college basketall, tennis. I am a raving sports fan. I am a woman who wants to get married and have babies. One day. If I can’t have my own babies, I’d love to adopt.
Though I write a lot of things on my blog, facebook and twitter, I don’t share enough with people that I love. I am learning how to communicate with people that I care about. Vulnerability is one of the most difficult things for me. I’m learning how to do it.
I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin.
Deneen White 