Sometimes Life is Messy and Grey

When you are completely ensconced in the church–when you eat, breathe, live the church, you are safe and protected.  Yes, there are still human issues, but you generally deal with church people.  You usually live a pretty regular life.  You go to work (if you have a job outside of the church) form 9-5, head to church for at least one mid-week service, one mid-week meeting.  Over the weekend, you attend at least one church service, sometimes two if you have a Sunday night service that is different from the regular Sunday morning service.  

Life is basically safe.  There’s not much room for error.  If you are single, you are always hanging out with either married people in the church or other singles in the church.  Guarding your heart is not even a question.  It’s a requirement.

When you leave the safety of the church, things get messy.  You hang out with people who are not homogenized by the church.  Issues arise within you and between you and people that are not discussed in a Sunday morning service.  Sometimes your days start at 5:20 AM and end at 3:30 AM.  

Sometimes you want to stay with everything inside of you even though you have to go.  Sometimes you have to stay when you want to run.  Sometimes you have to fight hell for what you want, for what is yours.  Literally.

Right now, life is messy and full of grey areas.  I don’t do well in grey.  

You know what?  I wouldn’t change one thing about my life.

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