The reason that I started writing this blog was to have an outlet for my writing. I want to be authentic. So here is an authentic post.
The holidays are tough for me. Every year at this time, I look forward to seeing what will happen in the next twelve months. Every year, I expect that things are going to be exponentially better than they were last year.
2008 started out well. In the first few months, I had the opportunity to travel to San Antonio, TX. I had a great time, and I would love to go back for a vacation. I also went to MD, enjoyed the night life of Annapolis and Baltimore. I definitely want to head back to see those cities as well.
I made some new friends in 2008. I expect to see those friendships grow in 2009.
2008 did not find me in a home church. I did revisit some old stomping grounds, if you will. I’ve come to realize that they are great places to visit, but they are not places that I can hang my hat. I love the people of The River and The Sanctuary, but I just cannot sell out to the church.
The lessons that I’ve learned over the past few years seared that into my heart. What I am working on is selling myself out to God. That means doing what He’s called me to do…comfortable or not, whether it makes me friends or not.
And this is where I begin to squirm. And look for bright shiny objects to distract me. 🙂
During the holidays, it’s tough to be single. In my 30’s, it’s getting more and more difficult. I want to get married and have children. I know that people are having children later in life, but I would really prefer to have kids sooner than later. I don’t want to be retired when my kid graduates from college. I really want someone to ring in 2009 with. I want someone to travel with. I want someone to stay up all night with, talking about whatever comes to mind.
Though 2008 started out well, it’s ended rather poorly. I am looking forward to 2009. New job. New beginnings. So many possibilities that my head is spinning 🙂
Deneen White 
Wow my friend. You are always there for me, now it is my turn.
God knows that my approach to life is the complete polar opposite to yours. I started it all when I myself was a child. Now in my 30’s, although a little later 30’s I am facing dealing with an empty nest! One child has already moved out, and my youngest has been trying to soften the blow of the realization that she too will be leaving me shortly. All this in a world with people my own age just now planning weddings and beginning the thought of starting a family. My own personal life does not “fit the norm” either. At work I am not part of the same conversations, or even the same lunchtime shopping trips because my life is not in the same area as the majority. Holidays always make it worse.
You are an amazing woman and I know that you have Mr. Forever close…I think you already know who he is. I do not think it is really that far off. Just take a look at your specifications and really think about what is truly important to you. Sometimes our expectations of what we think we want and need are slightly too high. Be open and less fearful in asking people out. You are my very traditional friend and I know we all would like that Knight in Shining armor…but life itself has changed the way our Knights are perceived and we need to change our lenses as well.
This is a big step, I have never heard you be so specific in what you are looking for in life. Maybe this is what you needed to say and what others need to hear, they now know that you have dreams to start a family. You have an amazing group of friends that is immense. You are so well travelled and educated. Not to mention beautiful too! I do believe that it will not be long before I get that little invite in the mail 🙂
2009 is going to be amazing for you, i just know it…here’s to you getting EVERYTHING your heart desires this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (except one of your “teams” in the super bowl! 🙂
Praying for your possibilities in ’09.
But trust me on this, the staying up all night thing, yeah, the body kind of has this way of increasing the yawn-output exponentially when you try, so you quickly come to the realization that, well, you’re old. 😉