Today I realized that I am hypocritical. I know that doesn’t surprise many of you 🙂
I’ve had an extended dialogue about dating that has been going on for months now. Literally months. I keep talking about how dating is good…how people shouldn’t be afraid of dating. Then I realized that it’s not like I’ve been dating. Duh.
I have friends that I hang out with. But noone that I am specifically dating. Here is my justification of my hypocrisy. I am not the type of person who would be able to juggle seeing a different people. It’s not my personality.
If you look at my pool of friends, it’s pretty small. Again, I’ve been that way my whole life. I don’t really require a whole bunch of people in my life. I like people, but I like my alone time aka solitude just as much, if not more.
When I do begin a relationship…if I don’t turn into the crazy cat lady that I referenced in my previous post…I am going to require alone time. A lot of alone time. I enjoy going out, but I enjoy sitting at home sipping a glass of wine with an intimate group as well. I want to meet someone who won’t need me to be around all of the time. Because I’m sure that there will be days that I need to regroup by heading, by myself, to the beach to contemplate the consistency and constancy of the crashing waves.
I don’t always require conversation. I write better than I communicate verbally. Sometimes, when I’m in a group of people, I can’t think of one thing that I really want to say. But…there are also times when I need to talk things out. Sometimes I don’t need a solution, I just need an ear. But, despite the fact that I am so independent, sometimes I do need the solution.
Don’t know why I’m making all of these confessions.
I guess it’s a good thing that my core group of friends is relatively low maintenance. If they were, they would be acquaintances, not intimate friends.
Deneen White 