Hypocritical confessional

Today I realized that I am hypocritical.  I know that doesn’t surprise many of you 🙂

I’ve had an extended dialogue about dating that has been going on for months now.  Literally months.  I keep talking about how dating is good…how people shouldn’t be afraid of dating.  Then I realized that it’s not like I’ve been dating.  Duh.

I have friends that I hang out with.  But noone that I am specifically dating.  Here is my justification of my hypocrisy.  I am not the type of person who would be able to juggle seeing a different people.  It’s not my personality.

If you look at my pool of friends, it’s pretty small.  Again, I’ve been that way my whole life.  I don’t really require a whole bunch of people in my life.  I like people, but I like my alone time aka solitude just as much, if not more. 

When I do begin a relationship…if I don’t turn into the crazy cat lady that I referenced in my previous post…I am going to require alone time.  A lot of alone time.  I enjoy going out, but I enjoy sitting at home sipping a glass of wine with an intimate group as well.  I want to meet someone who won’t need me to be around all of the time.  Because I’m sure that there will be days that I need to regroup by heading, by myself, to the beach to contemplate the consistency and constancy of the crashing waves. 

I don’t always require conversation.  I write better than I communicate verbally.  Sometimes, when I’m in a group of people, I can’t think of one thing that I really want to say.  But…there are also times when I need to talk things out.  Sometimes I don’t need a solution, I just need an ear.  But, despite the fact that I am so independent, sometimes I do need the solution.

Don’t know why I’m making all of these confessions. 

I guess it’s a good thing that my core group of friends is relatively low maintenance.  If they were, they would be acquaintances, not intimate friends.

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