This morning, I woke up and I was fah-reaking out. I realized, in an instant, that I have, once again, fallen into the trap of finding my identity not in Christ but in the things that I do. Like work. Like ministry. Like being an aunt. Like being a sister. Like being a daughter. I am talking about a serious identity crisis here.
On my way into work, I plugged myself into my ipod, and listened to some Catalyst podcasts. They re-ran an interview from a few years back with Bill Bright. Oh my goodness…talk about God’s timing. He said in the interview that he would tell people that they had not lost their first love, they had left their first love. I was literally in the same spot on Market Street, in Philadelphia, as when God spoke this post. Ouch again. Some things that he said really made me reevaluate where I am. Chew on these things.
- Bill Bright was 32 when he started Campus Crusade for Christ
- Bill Bright and his wife signed a contract to be slaves for Jesus Christ
- He refused to take credit when people complimented him because slaves are undeserving of credit.
- When problems arose, he would tell God, “Looks like You’ve got a problem here.”
That’ll put things into perspective for you, eh?
I also read Perry Noble’s blog this morning and was given some fresh perspective. Apparently he was criticized for being too honest from the pulpit, and was told that he had to give his congregation someone to look up to. This is his response:
I do give them someone to look up to…His name is Jesus. If they look up to me all their lives then they will spend eternity in hell–and I just don’t care about looking good in people’s eyes to carry that weight into eternity.
That my friends changed my perspective.
I find that when I have those moments of identifying with the doing and not the being, it is because my focus has turned in, toward my navel rather than toward Jesus and all of His magnificence.
The fact of the matter is this. The work will get finished. Thinking about it and talking about it outside of work will do nothing to help me accomplish what I cannot do at that moment. What is limited is my time on earth. The only thing that I can do here that I cannot do when I get to heaven is show people the love of Christ. In order to show people Christ, I must spend time in HIS PRESENCE so that I can be immersed in Him. I want more of Him in my life and less of me.
Let’s be honest. In 30 years time, will anyone remember that I printed 30 kits for a training class? Or will someone remember that woman who showed them the love of Jesus for the first time?
I want my footsteps, my life to ring into eternity.
Am I fah-reaking out anymore? Nah. Leave that to other people, who love stress. As for me and my house, we’re gonna serve the Lord.
Deneen White 