Let’s be honest. I should be sleeping. My body feels like it is encased in jello…doesn’t want to move yet mobile…tough to explain. However, my brain is charging full speed ahead, even after two hours of mind-numbing television.
I was listening to a podcast this week that compared a person full of vision to a woman pregnant in her third trimester. I am uncomfortable. I can not find a position in which I am able to rest. Because I am way pregnant with a vision that God has placed within me. I feel like I’m wearing a corset. And all I want is to tear off the corset, give birth, and hold my baby in my arms. I want to watch the baby grow. I want this vision to walk, to eat, to grow, to be bigger than I am, to be bigger than I ever can be.
So, right now I’m waddling around. I’m trying to prepare to give birth, but I kind of feel like Mary. I know that God has prepared a place for the birth of the vision. He knows the time. He knows the circumstances. But right now I can’t see the forest for the trees. And being a woman…a woman who likes to be in control…I like to know the itinerary. I like to know the plan. I like to be the one holding the map. Heck, I like to be the one driving the car.
So that is where I am. A woman, pregnant with a vision. A woman who is jumping up and down, going for walks, long drives on bumpy roads. A woman who wants her Husband in the room…to comfort her, to hold her hand, to feed her ice chips and to take the brunt of her frustration.
On one hand, I am excited. The newness of the thing causes the house to be cleaned. On the other hand, I know that things have to change. There will be 2AM feedings, dirty diapers, less sleep.
So, yeah. Is that enough analogy, simile, hyperbole, all of those words I was supposed to learn as an English major but I never did?