The good, bad & ugly

Today I was sitting, thinking that it has been a while since I’ve actually shared something that God is doing in my life.  Sure, I’ve been eluding to things, but I don’t know if I’ve actually laid anything out in print.

Today God worked what I consider a miracle in my life.  For the past 7 years, my finances have been a train wreck.  I have been in and out of jobs, and my finances have suffered.  This summer I hit a low when my checking account was closed.  So, I got this new job and I’ve been scared to go to a bank to open up an account.  Fear of rejection was more than I could bear.  Today I went into a bank and I opened accounts.  I was able to open accounts.  I started myself on a savings plan.  I have a financial goal, and I’m working toward it.  I will have direct deposit.  This may seem mundane to the average person.  But financially, I have been at the bottom of a pit that seemed to be closing in on me.  God showed me today that He truly has all of my life in His hands.  I merely have to allow Him to be God.

For so long, I’ve been looking for the next place to go, the next opportunity.  Vocationally, churchwise, emotionally.  No matter how happy I am, I continually look forward.  I have this gift wherein I can find something nitpicky on which I can fixate which will eventually lead to me being unhappy.  Sometimes the “thing” is real, and it is big.  Other times, it is something in me that is looking to find the provervial “other shoe” before it drops on my head.

Right now, I am happy.  I love my job and the people with whom I work.  Even when I’m hormonal, I still want to get up and go to work.  I have my moments when I look up to heaven and ask God what I’ve gotten myself into.  But, over all, I love my job.  I love my coworkers.  I love working in the city.  I love that we have a rhythm going…one that works.  We all respect one another, and value one another.  Monday will be sad because one of our guys will no longer be in the office consistently.  He’s been released to his territory.  Life will not be the same without him bursting out into song or asking random questions at random times when it gets too quiet.  So, we will have to find a new rhythm, one without him.

Family life is going well.  Today mom and I went to grandmom’s to shovel her out.  Don’t tell anyone, but she was nice to me.  Not once did she look at me with a disparaging look.  Not once did she make a rude, condescending remark.  She was nice.  I actually enjoyed being in her presence.  This alone tells me that God is doing something.

Church is going well.  I wasn’t there last week, but from what I hear, things were stirred up.  I am working on finding a rhythm in church once again.  Working has changed the rhythm of my life, and the ripple is being felt by me in my church life.  Now I must once again determine where I fit.  I know that there is a place for me.  I just have to find it. 

So there you have it.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  God is in all things, and He is the One part of my life in which I am completely secure.  God is working out things in my life that shock me on a daily basis.  Were is not for the grace of God I would not be sitting at this computer sharing what He has done.

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