Here in the US it’s Valentine’s Day. This day has always been a thorn in my side. Why? Well…because I’ve never had a good one. And because when I’m in love, I show my love daily, not on a day designated by a company to drive sales. (Jaded, much?)
Part of my struggle is that, until recently, I didn’t really practice self love. I liked parts of me…my intelligence, my sense of humor, my inner martyr, ready to die for others. I didn’t like my sensitivity, my body, the struggles that I had experienced and overcome. I actually hated those things.
I knew the love verse from 1 Corinthians 13…but I didn’t realize that I had to apply it to myself. I wasn’t patient or kind with parts of me. I boasted and was very proud about the parts I liked…and envied those who had more of what I liked. I dishonored myself and my body by abusing it with food, alcohol and other things that I won’t name here. I was always angry, seeming the next thing to numb me. And man…I could give you a list of my faults and mistakes that would turn Satan’s head.
Can you relate to any of that?
This morning, my guided meditation was a self-love practice. Part of the practice was to tell myself, “I love you. I hear you.” When I was saying those words, I saw the seven year old me. Her eyes were alive with wonder and excitement. She hadn’t been hurt by anyone yet. She was full of confidence and exuberance. She hadn’t experienced loss or heartbreak. All she knew was unconditional love.
I wept when I saw her.
Why? Because I honestly didn’t know that she was still inside of me. She was so excited to be seen…to be acknowledged. Not because she’s needy or naive…but because all she knows is how to love without fear.
Today, I challenge you, just as I challenge myself. Love yourself fearlessly. Love yourself like you’ve never been hurt before. Love yourself unabashedly.
Only then can you truly love someone else.
Own all of who you are, all of your perfect imperfections and love it. If God loves you that much, you owe it to yourself.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!
Deneen White 