Ready for some real talk? I’m on the struggle bus right now. I’m questioning every bloody thing that I do…and most decisions I’ve made in my life.
But…I have to trust the journey I’m on. I feel kind of like the Israelites in Exodus. Moses led them out of slavery, out of captivity…but when the going got tough…those crazy cats wanted to go back to Egypt…to be enslaved…because being beaten and tortured was better than the unknown.
I started reading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly which, honestly, has pulled more scabs off wounds than I even knew I had…and I thought I had a good inventory of such things! Shame. Vulnerability. Vulnerability is actually strength, not weakness. What? You mean that fortress around my heart is weakness? But it’s my friend…my constant companion…sorry…but that’s what is literally going on right now between my heart and my head.
That scripture has taken on a whole new meaning the past few days. I used to think that it meant that you fall in love with the wrong person…or it leads you in the wrong direction on occasion when you follow your intuition.
Well…my heart wants so desperately to keep me from shame and vulnerability that it has erected a wall that would put the Great Wall of China to shame (pun semi-intended.) That wall is starting to crumble, and my heart is freaking out, dancing a frenetic dance with my brain, spewing lies that I thought I had dealt with long ago.
You see…in this moment, I had a few choices to make. I could’ve denied this, written a cheerful blog about something fun and inspiring…or I can share my struggles with you. None of us is perfect. None of us has it all figured out. We’re all on this journey together.
Some days we’re on a double decker bus tour seeing the most beautiful sites the eye can imagine…and some days we’re on the broken down struggle bus choking on the fumes it spews.
My message is this: trust the journey. Trust the One who sent you on the journey. If you’re struggling, reach out to someone. Likely…there is someone in your life who can empathize.
Have a fantastic Saturday!