Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for this year. I am thankful for a Savior who loved me enough to lay down His life for me. I am thankful to be alive. I’m thankful to have a job that pays the bills and allows me to have a bit of fun here and there. I am thankful that I have a core group of friends and family that are unconditionally supportive, no matter what. I am thankful for my health and that I live in a time when I am able to get the medical care that I need.
Despite everything for which I have to be thankful, it is also a very difficult time. We are in the process of cleaning out my grandmother’s house. Dismantling the belongings of a loved one is difficult to say the least. When one considers the rocky relationship that I had with her, it is even more difficult. I regret the time I didn’t spend with her, though I know that in the last two years of her life, I was there with her when she needed me most…up to literally her last breath. There are times when I miss her deeply. There are times when I am very angry with her. There are times when I am indifferent.
All in all, 2012 has been a rough year. Yet, somehow, I find myself thankful for the challenges. I have been able to overcome things that I never thought possible. I’m kicking off 2013 with a 5K, so I’m starting off on a positive note. On January 2, I’ll be even more thankful to be alive…unless my heart explodes when I run…lol…totally kidding…I’ll be thankful for life AND ibuprofen.