This is mine

I haven’t been writing on here for fear of offending people.  I’m ending my silence today.

This is MY blog.  I am allowed to write whatever I want on here.  This is not required reading for a class, for a job, for anything.  This is my place to write out what I am going through.  This is not for the faint of heart.  If I offend you, take me off of your reading list.

The past few months have been the best and worst of my life.

I’m learning much about myself…things I like and things I don’t like.

I don’t like that I don’t stand up for myself.  I tend to back pedal when challenged instead of standing my ground.  I don’t tell people how I really feel…instead I keep it bottled up until I can’t take it any longer.  That is changing.  I am worth sticking up for.  Why would I defend someone I love to the death but allow myself to be berated?  That is insane.

I like being in a relationship. I love that there is a go-to person in my life, and that I am the go-to person in someone else’s life.  The roller coaster part has taken some getting used to, but I’m getting my sea legs.

I don’t like that recently when I’ve gotten bad news that I’ve crumpled.  When I found out my mom had cancer, I lost it.  when she had the allergic reaction to the chemo, I was scared to death.  When I found out that my uncle in FL has a short time to live, due to cancer (I HATE CANCER) I wept.  I am an emotional person, but I need to find a way to control my emotions better.

I needed to get that stuff off of my chest.  I am going to be writing more frequently.  I’ve missed my blog.