Yesterday, I had the sense that God was up to something great. I woke up at 3:30 AM the night before and I was unable to go back to sleep. When I finally fell asleep, it was basically time to get up for work. When that happens, and it doesn’t happen often, God usually shows up in my life in some amazing way.
Last night, I fell asleep early (thank you very much Advil PM.) When I woke up this morning, I checked my email to find drama on my facebook page.
I was hurt. I was pissed. I was shaking from the impact of the drama.
But, as I removed myself from the situation, more than anything, I repented. I prayed and repented for being more passionate about politics than I am about Him. I repented for caring more about what people think about me than about what God thinks of me. I asked God for forgiveness.
I’ve always joked with my friends that one day they would see me on the cover of Newsweek, one of the most reviled people in the world. When I woke up, one person hating on me for an unsubstantiated truth, I was devastated.
I did something I’ve not done in a long time. I prayed for my friends. I prayed for the people involved in the misunderstanding. And you know what? If it turns out that people realize that what they believed of me is false, that is great. If not, that is great too.
You see…I know One who loves me unconditionally. He knows my heart, and He knows me better than I know myself. He loves me even though I am a deeply flawed human being. When He was on earth and wrongly accused, He handled it with much more grace than I. He was silent, communicating solely with the Father.
Father, please forgive me for being more zealous about politics than You. I know this is foolishness because You alone are in control of this country. You alone can bring the change that we so desparately need. Father, forgive me for misrepresenting You in any way. You alone love every person on the face of the earth unconditionally. Father, I pray that you show me how to agape–love unconditionally–people. Father, I understand that there are people who will hate me no matter what I say or do. Father, help me love those people. And, more importantly, Father, I pledge to You that I will love You and Your opinion of me more than my opinion of me or others’ opinion of me. In Jesus’ name, Amen