God, I want to see myself as You see me. I know that You say that I am beautiful, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I just don’t see it.
I pushed this thought to the back of my mind, braved the elements and headed out for my day.
I’ve been living for myself. I want to do this because it feels good. It’s okay if I do this because I want to. I don’t have to do this because I don’t want to. It’s okay to compromise this because not compromising might make me appear to be a fanatic.
These things are not me…not at the core. I’ve allowed relativity to creep into my beliefs. I’ve been trying to please someone–myself, other people–rather than the One who created me.
God is everything to me. One day I was challenged by someone I respect. She looked me square in the eye and said to me, “Deneen, I know you would die for Christ. The question I pose to you is will you live for Him?”
Tonight, I came home and I listened to the first sermon in Newspring Church’s women’s series. I literally cried throughout most of the sermon. I have forgotten that beauty is not skin deep–beauty is something that eminates from the depth of who you are. My beauty doesn’t come from my body; it doesn’t come from my hair or my makeup or my clothes. My beauty comes from the fingerprint of God. When God created me, He threw away the mould. When God looks at me, He doesn’t see the extra weight that I carry; He doesn’t see the fears in the depth of my being; He doesn’t see my faults. He sees Christ in me.
When I see people, I see the fingerprint of God on them. Everyday, from this point forward, I am going to look myself in the eye, and I am going to look for Christ in my eyes.