Vulnerability

Yup.  There’s that four-letter-word again.  Vulnerability.

I recently had quiet time.  It’s been a while since I was stationary (ie not driving my car) and alone for more than 2 hours.  And during that time, I got to thinking about people.  Specifically a few people.  And you know what I realized?  I really need people in my life.

Duh…we were created to be in relationship.  I know that.  I tell people that.  All the time.

But knowing it and admitting it to myself are two different things. 

There are a few people who are currently in my life who I *insert dramatic pause here* need in my life.  I may not spend a bunch of time with them, but when I do spend time with them, the effect lasts (in a good way) for a while.  I leave the time challenged in my thinking.  I am able to let my hair down, if you will, and have a good time without worrying about judgment.  We may not have the same views on everything, but that is what makes relationships work.  Iron sharpening iron.  Sparks.  Intense discussions. 

But, along with those I need in my life, I have also come to realize that there are those I don’t need in my life.  They are a good addition.  We have fun when we hang out.  We have really good talks about theology, life, church politics.  But these people add no real value to my life, so I have come to realize that they are acquaintenances.  And that is just fine.  These relationships are not really functional.  They are one-sided…time spend justifying how what they are doing is better than what I am doing or vice versa. 

So, that being said, there are some relationships that I intend to put more into…vulnerability-wise.  And there are others that are going to be sealed.  Sure, we’ll get together for lunch and movies and spend time.  But my heart will not be put on the table any longer.

I have to be wise with who I let into my heart.  I have to build walls where they need to be built and start tearing down walls where they should not be.  I’m not going to lie.  I’m scared.  But heck…what worth doing doesn’t come with risk?

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One Response to Vulnerability

  1. Barbara says:

    Deneen,
    You’d probably like the book “Boundaries”. It speaks of your blog topic. I, like you, have decided to protect my heart. I am not heartless to do so, just being a good steward of the talents God has given me. I refuse to let my heart get trampled because I’ve not put up the proper boundaries. I have compassion, but not at the expense of myself anymore.

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