Intellectual vacuum

Yesterday as I was driving home from work, aggravated at my discontent, I started to understand a bit of my frustration.  I work in an intellectual vacuum.  We talk about nonsensical things…things that don’t matter at all.  Britney Spears 16 year old sister is pregnant.  Shocking.  Movies.  Stimulating.  How much alcohol was consumed over the weekend, during the previous evening.  It’s like being in high school rather than in a professional environment.  I’ve worked in other places that were just as un-stimulating intellectually.  I think that it may be more jarring this time because when I worked at the publisher in Boston, we talked about the great American novels.  We discussed ancient forms of poetry that are being revived and rediscovered. 

Today I went to a bridal shower for one of my best friends and had a panic attack and had to leave.  I don’t know exactly what happened.  I just started to feel like I was being choked.  I almost started crying.  So, to avoid making a scene, I exited stage left.  I’m questioning some of the decisions that I’ve made.  I’ve made some crappy decisions throughout my life.  Most of the time, I have some sort of check in my spirit about it.  Kind of like what happened today.  I really need God to speak to my heart, my mind, my spirit.  If you think about it, please shoot up a prayer for me. 

Well, I’m going to check out of the blogosphere for a bit so that I can soak up the greatness of the Patriots. 🙂

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