Right now, my heart is all charged up. There’s a struggle going on within me that wakes me up at night.
My faith is being challenged. This is the best thing that could ever happen to me.
Things that I believe to be true are requiring me to see the big picture rather than the finite circumstances that appear more true.
Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
Faith is not rational. It cannot be quantified. A node cannot be hooked up to my brain to study where I get my faith, and why I believe some of the things that I believe.
There is a part of every person…a part that senses things that are unknowable by rational thought. When I was a kid, we were on vacation, and I spent much of the time crying as if someone had died. My parents were…frustrated with me to say the very least. When we got home from our vacation (this was in the days before cell phones when the dinosaurs walked the earth) we learned that my Oma’s sister had passed away. Something in me was mourning, yet I didn’t know the cause of the mourning.
There are a few things that I believe with every ounce of my being. If you were to look at my circumstances right now, you’d laugh. Nothing is adding up to show that these things will come to pass. However, deep within me, as distraught as I am on the surface, I just know in my knower that one day I’ll read this blog post, recall the dark night of the soul, and smile.
My heart aches for that day to be today.