Last days

The last few days of this job are getting increasingly more interesting.  I only have one more doctor to whom I need to break the news of my departure.  Today I cried when I told one of the doctors.  He said to me, “Deneen, do you mean I’m not going to see you?”  I made plans to visit him on Friday at the end of his hours.  He is one of those guys who, though initially he seems really gruff, is one of the softest, most concerned people I know.  I’ve grown to adore, to love my core doctors.  I honestly cannot imagine not seeing them or talking to them on a daily/weekly basis.  But, I have to move on.  It’s move on or die internally.

The conversations that I have had over the last two days have left me speechless. 

I had a conversation with one of the bigwigs at work today.  It was a terribly disheartening conversation.  He basically told me that he and one of his colleagues are the only people that support me.  Apparently, they heard something about me and that the other directors wanted me to be reprimanded.  Funny that noone ever mentioned this to me directly before. 

I don’t understand why people feel the need to unload their deepest secrets to me this week.  Honestly…just wish me luck to my face then curse me later.  Be duplicitious.  It’s my last week.  It’s not like we’re ever going to see each other again.  And if we do, I’ll remember you being nice to my face. 

Long story short…I can NOT wait for this to be over.  I can keep in contact with the people that I like and the rest–I’ll smile and exchange pleasantries. 

I think that this is why, in the past, I’ve just left with few goodbyes.