My Rock, My only Love

It’s funny.  I like change.  As a matter of fact, when things stay the same, I get bored.  Really bored.  And a bored Deneen is a dangerous thing.

So, I get this promotion.  I am really excited.  We’re hiring people to replace me.  (Yes, plural.  People.  Two to be exact.  Kind of flattering.) 

Today, it’s beginning to occur to me that I am going to be replaced.  It occured to me as I was writing part of a how-to for the new admin.  It occurs to me that I am no longer going to be working directly with the doctors that I have gotten to know over the past year.  It occurs to me that those doctors are going to be working with someone new.

Then I find out that I don’t know who my boss is going to be.  Which is just as well, because I love my current bosses, but I’m sure that a new boss will be a good thing…new job, new beginning.  The person will most likely come from HQ in Korea, which again would be great.  I want to learn everything that I can about the training. 

But…for some reason, I kind of freaked out.  I don’t know why.  Ok.  I’m lying.  I am not in control.  I don’t know who I’ll be working with.  I have no say in who the person with whom I will work will be.  I’m a control freak.  Duh.

So, I went for a drive tonight, to clear my head.  I ask God, “How am I supposed to find my happiness and contentment in You?  I want to, but I need You to put feet on it for me.  How am I supposed to be steady, standing on my Rock, when life is so unsteady?”    He said to me, “You just do it.”  Yeah, thanks God.  Then He continued.  “Deneen, you can’t focus on your circumstances.  You have to focus on what I have said.  You know what is true.  You know what I’ve said about you.  Though things are changing, I’m in control.  Do you think that I am surprised?  Please trust that I know what I am doing in your life.  If you will just trust Me, you will find yourself steadied.  Not in your job.  Not in your friends.  In ME.”

Well, I drove my newly steadied butt home.  And you know what?  All of a sudden, it makes sense.