I was informed this morning that it is Wednesday and I’ve not blogged about Boston 🙂
Well, Boston never happened. I was on the PA Turnpike on Friday night for about 3 hours, attempting to get from Philadelphia to the NJ Turnpike. I was so frazzled and exhausted by the time I made it to the NJ Turnpike, I decided to cut my losses and head home. Turns out it was a good thing because I got some kind of head/chest infection and was in bed for two days. Not exactly what I was looking forward to…but it is what it is.
Over the past few months/years, God has been building this dream inside of me…growing it bigger and bigger. Honestly, I’m uncomfortable because I literally at times feel like I’m about 12 months pregnant…or what I would imagine it would be like to be 12 months pregnant. You’re past your due date, you’re retaining water, your unable to sleep because of the discomfort of the child shifting around inside of you. But…you are also excited about giving birth to the kid. And completely scared that you will never be a good parent…that there is no way that you can raise this kid the way that God wants you to.
That is where I am right now. Today I had an interesting conversation with a guy I know about some interesting prospects for the future. Some prospects that would be very challenging, completely not anything I would ever choose for myself…yet enticing on some level that I cannot yet comprehend.
One line from a song keeps running through my head: Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings’ end. The seasons are changing faster than I can say fall. It’s nothing that I have pursued. It’s nothing that I could have made happen. Only God can do something like this.
Some will understand. Some will question. Only One knows the beginning from the end. And that one is not me.