So, today I actually felt like I accomplished something. I sent out half of the mailers for our direct mail campaign. For the record, direct mail…sucks. I think I’ve permanently lost feeling on the tips of three fingers because of having to stick 592 stamps on 148 mailers. Not to mention the 396 total labels. Yup. I only have a thin layer of skin left.
Work is going well. I am learning more everyday about the products that we sell. Dental implants are a lot more complicated than I ever would have thought. Yet–they are also logical, with specific patterns, so I’m finding it easy to comprehend. Now that I am taking the time to learn. I have listened to our seminars in the morning, and I’ve engaged in conversations about the implants. Today I actually took the time to study and I understand the implants. Now I have to learn about the abutments and the miscellaneous other apparatus that go along with the implants. Exciting stuff, huh?
Today as I was walking, something occurred to me. It’s something that I have been wrestling for most of my adult life. It feels weird to say it out loud, but I have a fear. Of success. I don’t know the root of this fear. But it is real. I think that it is one of those “this requires prayer and fasting” things.
Today I also learned the value of reading the Word before work. I took the time to read John 15 and my proverb of the day, and my day was exponentially better.
So, there you have it.
Deneen White 
D, I’m going to be nosey — isn’t that what the blogosphere is about? What makes you say you have a fear of success?
Good question…good question. Looking back over my life, over the past few years, there have been time when I could have seen a breakthrough in different areas of my life…spiritual, financial, relational…and I see a trend of walking away from what could be successful moments.
However, as I am sitting here contemplating my remark and this question, what I perceived as a fear of success could actually be discernment from the Holy Spirit. There are things that look good to the eyes, to the flesh, that would be death to my spirit.
Perhaps my gauge of success has been the world’s definition of success and not God’s.
I love it when questions make me think through my comments. Thanks for asking the question!
there’s a lot to be said about vantage points. events can be seen one way or another, depending on your viewpoint. i think the trick is to try to see life from God’s vantage point as much as possible. when we can’t, we need to trust Him, no matter how difficult that can be.
it sounds like that’s exactly what your doing.
have a great day today.