I remember when every day was a count down until I would have the opportunity to see you.  Tonight I caught myself saying, and got called on it, that I was coming to see you to “get it over with.”  When did this happen?  You were the love of my life, the thing about which I was so passionate that I walked away from opportunities, family functions, so much more than I could ever spell out in a blog.  What has been so broken in me that I consider you an obligation? 

Lord, I pray that You would heal the brokenness in my heart that has hardened me toward Your bride.  Father, show me where it is that I fit.  Everytime I close my eyes, I see the vision of the church that You placed in my heart so long ago.  But now, as I think about your bride, I am disconcerted and daresay I, jaded.  I want to love your bride as much as you do.  I long to be a member of the body.  Right now, I feel like the extra puzzle piece that belongs somewhere but not in this particular box with this particular puzzle.  Lord, I love you and deep within, I love your bride.  Please help me to find the place where I can let my roots grow deep and my guard down.