i was MADE for this

We are competitive—or persistent as the case may be
When a woman sees something that she wants, she will go to any lengths to get it.  To any lengths.  If you don’t believe me, head out to the stores on Black Friday—the busiest shopping day of the year in the US.  The gloves come off, the claws come out, and it’s every woman for herself.  I hide at home on that day…and most of the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  When I was a kid, Cabbage Patch Kids had just come onto the scene.  I remember seeing women on the news, clawing at one another, over a baby doll.  A child’s toy. 

If you involve a man in the competition, watch out.  I probably don’t have to go into more detail about this subject

Women also like to talk…too much.  My father is the king of trash talk.  When we were kids, we would play the game Sorry, and before the game was halfway over, I was usually frustrated.  I remember once, I was a part of a video shoot for my church, and my pastor was talking trash “to make the scene more realistic.”  Women aren’t as overt.  It is usually subtle.  “Your boyfriend is nice for you, but she probably wouldn’t think he’s too attractive.”  Of behind your back.  “Can you believe that Deneen actually thinks that…blah blah blah?” 

I can’t understand why women don’t want one another to be confident, and I don’t understand why there are so many women who want one another to fail.  I’m not talking female power, down with men, let’s go burn our bras here.  I’m just talking about truly wanting other women to marry the greatest man on earth (for her); wanting female co-workers to get the big promotion; to lost the extra ten pounds that she’s been struggling with.  But I’d be lying if I said I was imune to this.  Again…this is something that is wired into us that we need to work, HARD, to break.

But competition can be used for good as well.  Sure, we don’t play well together, but when we set our minds to something, nothing can stop us.  I had this neighbor years ago.  She and her husband moved in next door to us.  The house into which they moved was a dump.  A bunch of single men lived there for years upon years.  She worked for a few years on the house, never settling for less than she desires, and by the time they moved, her house was one of the nicer houses on the block. 

Competition isn’t always a bad thing, when used for good…

We have lots of insecurities
Women are riddled with insecurities.  If you don’t believe me, go into a bathroom in any bar on a Saturday night.  “Does my butt look ok in these jeans?”  “Oh my god, my hair looks so bad!”  Yeah, I go into the bathroom to make sure I still look put-together as well.  I am a girl and all.  I certainly want to put my best foot forward. 

The problem with insecurity is that it rubs off on those around you.  I work with someone who is horribly insecure, and just being around this person makes everyone more insecure and unsure of themselves. 

The good news
Insecurities can be overcome.  It takes work, though.  Lots of hard work.  It takes accepting yourself for who you are…and who you are not.  I know that I will never win a beauty contest, and I am okay with that.  I try to make the best of what God gave me.  I try not to compare myself to people.  Don’t go fishing for compliments to make yourself feel better.  Look in the mirror and purpose that, at this moment, you are going to like who you are, and you are going to like what you see.  Find something about yourself that you like.  If you don’t like yourself, how can you possibly expect someone else to like you?

I am by no means claiming that I am the most secure person in the world.  But I am working on it daily. 

I am a woman.  I have to give men a lot of credit.  I don’t know how you deal with women, let alone find yourselves attracted to women.  I work in an office with eight, yes eight, women.  I love all of the women with whom I work.  However, I think having that many women, with only 4 men to counterbalance the estrogen with testerone, is a recipe for disaster.

So, over the next few days, I am going to look at the positives and negatives of perceived weaknesses.

We are territorial –the insane
Women are pretty territorial.  I’ve been trying to figure out the root of this…but I’ve not been able to figure it out.  I grew up with a sister.  When we were children, I always let my sister have her way.  I am a bit of a push over, admittedly.  But since I’ve become an adult, I’ve become more territorial over the stupidest things.  Like my stapler at work.  And my pillows.  If you were to take one of my pillows, I literally couldn’t sleep.  Take away one of my five blankets, I’d chase you down.  I know, it’s irrational.  Borderline insane.  I know I’m not alone.  I may be the only one admitting it…but I know I’m not alone.

We are territorial-the good
Being territorial isn’t always a bad thing.  It is one of the qualities that makes me a good assistant.  I am a gate keeper by nature.  Don’t try to get where you don’t belong.  Don’t come in without an appointment.  Ask me for intellectual property, and I’ll stare you down like a lioness protecting her cubs.  I am loyal to the death.  Once you are in with me, it takes a pretty big breach of trust to lose my loyalty.

So, being territorial can be toxic.  But, in the correct circumstances, it can be a good thing as well.

This year I enjoyed mother’s day.  No, I’m not a mother, but I enjoyed being in the presence of the women who are the matriarchs of my family.  We went to dinner on Saturday night and we spent the afternoon together yesterday.  I have to give glory to God, because He has healed wounds, deep wounds, within my heart pertaining to my grandmother.  I was able to walk into her house with an open heart, spend a great deal of time with her, and not walk away wounded.  It is true that scar tissue heals stronger than the original tissue. 

Did I mention that my church gave out awesome Mother’s Day gifts?  I love pineapple.  I love hand lotion.  I love pineapple hand lotion

I am thankful that I serve such a loving, wonderful God.  Right now, I am standing in the middle of an eddy, life swirling in every which direction, barely able, on my own to tell which way is up, and somehow I know that God is in control.  I don’t feel the need to grab the reins of my life.  I am not grasping for the proverbial straws.  I am standing.  Standing on a Rock.

I know that there is something brewing.  Right now I wish it were a pot of Starbucks coffee, ’cause I’m tired.  But I sense some kind of movement on the horizon.  And I hear a rumbling.  It will be interesting to see what occurs over the next month or so.

Well, I have to stop typing.  Pray that the HP lady actually helps me today or I may….I may sigh and call back tomorrow.

And for those who were worried.  My lost co-worker is rumored to be in the US.  Perhaps tomorrow I’ll see for myself.

I crack myself up.

Today I am getting my hair cut and colored.  And not a day too soon.  

It’s the small things in life that make me smile.

Thank you to all who commented/engaged in the discussion about women in ministry.  This is a subject about which I am passionate.  Obviously.

I understand that there are several camps:  pro-female pastors; anti-femal pastors; pro-female pastor as long a the women dare not assume a role of authority over a male; pro-female pastor when the woman is lucky enough…ummm, I mean married to a man who is a pastor.

If I’ve stepped on your toes, I can’t honestly say that I am sorry.  I’m calling it like I see it.

Scripturally, I understand that some passages seem to lean toward have a male in the lead role in a church–in the case of the scripture I will quote, of having males in the role of elder.  Titus 1:5 says, “An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.”

But my Bible (and yours, too) also says in Galatians 3:28 that “there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Which scripture is correct?  Or shall I say, which scripture has been translated more closely to the original text?  I’m not a biblical scholar (yet) but it seems that these two scriptures may be in opposition to one another.  If God does not distinguish between male and female, is it possible that elders can be women who have only been married to one man, whose children love & serve God, are not wild and disobedient?  Or does God distinguish between Jew & Greek, slaves and free, male and female?  It has to be one or the other because God is not a man that He should lie.  The Bible, being the inerrant word of God, cannot contradict itself.  So which is it?

Revelation 12:11 says, “They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.”  Given that scripture, I am going to tell you why, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I know that God calls women into ministry–even into a pastoral role that *gasp* may place her into a position of authority over men.

I gave my life to Jesus Christ when I was seven years old.  I cannot give you date and hour, but I remember making a firm decision for the Lord.  One night I was in my bedroom, and God spoke to me.  I saw myself preaching to large groups of people.  I knew distinctly that God was calling me to something bigger than I.  I knew that He was calling me to preach the gospel all over the globe.

Now, I was seven years old.  This was before I could read and fully comprehend the debate that was raging (and still does to this day) about female pastors.  It is something onto which I have held–heck, I’ve bet my life on it, and I will continue to do so until I meet Jesus Christ, face to face, on the day that He takes me to be home with Him.

I have to give props to the Holy Spirit as well.  No matter how far I’ve walked, nay run away from the Lord, the Holy Spirit has always been a quiet voice, urging me to walk forward with the Lord, toward the Lord, toward that He had called me to do.  I value the Holy Spirit–He is my Comforter, Wisdom.  I’ve seen Him do miraculous things in me, through me, with me.  I’ve seen Him move powerfully, gently, wonderfully in the lives of those I hold dear, those I’ve never met, me. 

Any questions, comments?  I welcome them. 

Tonight in my small group, we got to talking about women in ministry.  I have a question to post to all of those opposed to women in ministry–and to those who limit the role of a woman in ministry to women’s ministry and children’s ministry.  If you believe that women can be leaders in the church, I would love to hear from you too.

If you are a Christian, you should believe in Creationism–that God created the heavens and the earth, the animals, men and women, right?  God is a creative God.  He thought of armadillos, duck-billed platypuses, you, me, the Grand Canyon, the Pacific Ocean, dung beetles. 

Who were the people that realized that Jesus had risen, that the tomb was empty?  Who stuck it out with Jesus to the end?  While most of the disciples (ummm…the men) were hiding out, was it not the women who were walking alongside Jesus?

So why then is it that you claim that women cannot be leaders in the church?  Can God not use women?  Please do not come at me with the scripture aobut women being silent in church.  That will just prove to me that you are using scripture out of context. 

**Edit**I am interested in scriptural references.  I apologize if that was unclear.   What I do not want is scripture presented out of context. 

This is totally a chick post.  Consider yourself warned.

Today I reclaimed my femininity.  I bought myself some new makeup.  I got my hair cut and colored and bought the necessary product to maintain the look.  I got a new toothbrush.  I wore heels that click when I walk.  You know what?  I feel like I got my groove back.

There is something amazing about being a woman that I think we overlook.  It is ok to be feminine.  As a matter of fact, ladies, I believe that we should go as far as to embrace it.  It’s something that is much deeper than emotional.  It is embedded in the fiber of who we are.  God created men in one way and women in another way.  So why then are women trying to be masculine and why the heck are so many men giving up on that ruggedness that is supposed to be a part of them?

I appreciate the advances that women have made due to the sacrifices that so many women before me made.  I enjoy receiving a decent salary.  I love the privelege of voting.  I thank God that I don’t have to cover my femininity lest a man should be weak and be lustful. 

I am by no means a feminist.  I do not want men to be immasculated because women have been oppressed.  I want a man to be a man.  Build that desk for me.  Go out in the woods, run around, do man stuff.  By all means, please do not be prettier than I.  Heck…have some stubble on your face.  Be a man.

I appreciate that there are men who will open the door for me because I am a chick.  I love that there are men who protect me because I am a woman. 

So, today I got my groove back.  God is restoring what the locusts have stolen.  God is restoring what I’ve relinquished.  Watch out world.  I’m back.

Remember the grand opening I’ve been talking about for weeks now?  You remember…I won a prize there?!  Check out this article about the opening.  I’d embed the link to make my entry look pretty, but yeah.  I’m not that cool yet…LOL. 

PS…I’m not proud.  If you know how to do it, I’d more than willing to learn! I’m resourceful.  I learned

Salon A’vanti’s Grand Opening Article

As you may know, one of my best friends had the grand opening of her salon yesterday.  The grand opening was amazing not just because I won a prize.  If I had won nothing and just been there to see the opening, I would have been one of the most blessed women in the world.  This opening is the fruit of so much faith…so many hours of prayer, hard work and good ol’ faith.  I remember praying for Beverly 7-8 years ago.  The first time I prayed for her, I saw her in her own salon.  I told her and she yelled at me.  She was not interested.  Then a few years ago, the seed began to grow.  I remember when she found the building, and consequently lost the building.  I drove by what is now her salon and cried every time I saw it.  I remember when she “suddenly” got the building.  I remember walking through when it was a dusty, smelly, neglected, vacant auto parts store.  And now…it is a cutting edge salon that is transforming the lives of all of those who enter…her clients, her sales reps, her employees.  I know that it is not my salon, but I walked through the process with Beverly and Ted.  And I am so proud of them.

My mother is a strong woman.  Sure, at times she drives me bonkers.  (I’m still convinced that mom’s get lessons the few days they are in the hospital after giving birth about the exact way to push their kids’ buttons.)  Back to mom.  She has this gift for working with people who are very ill.  A few years ago, she cared for my godmother’s mother as she was dying of cancer.  This past spring, she spent a good portion of her time nursing her best friend since 7th grade in her battle with cancer.  Right now, she is helping to care for another friend’s mother at the end of her battle with emphysema.  I don’t know how she does it, seriously.  I have to honor her strength.  I remember seeing my Aunt Lorrie the last time.  I burst into tears and ran from the house.  But my mom stayed by her side.  What a woman.

One of the best things to come out of this time for my mother is that today she is spending time with my grandmother.  My grandmother went through quite a bit of emotional trauma as a child and as an adult, and she’s not dealt with the effects of this trauma.  So, she is a bit….abrasive.  But that is a protective layer–she’d rather hurt you than be hurt by you.  I’m proud of mom for pressing through.  I know that it’s not easy.

If I had a glass, I’d tip it to two of the strongest women I know…I don’t know if either of you will read it, but you are both an inspiration to me.  I love you both.